| Bona Sforza was the mother of Prince Sigismund of Poland and is remembered for many dark deeds, including poisoning her son's new bride, the lovely Barbara Radziwill. |
Mid-October, won't tell you how long ago, phone rings, it's Himself's mother, sometimes known as Bona Sforza.
She speaks: I'm at (store name) and they're having a terrific sale! Does my son need underwear?
Me: Um, I guess he could always stock up.
She: Everyone always needs clean underwear.
I was so happy she didn't announce she was coming over after she'd shopped that I forgot the conversation was about underwear.
And so we move to Christmas Day and the opening of presents.
Himself: Underpants? Underpants?
Bona Sforza: She said you needed underwear.
Me: Oh, look, it's a - um, housecoat?
Bona Sforza: Yes, when I was going through your closet I noticed you didn't have one. She says this in a chatty, conversational tone, as if it were normal behavior.
Me: (sputters)
Bona Sforza: Now you'll have something nice to wear while you're ironing!
Himself: I wanted toys, not clothes.
I think the best presents are something the gift-ee wanted all along without knowing it, but this is hard to achieve. Whimsy and daring and something the person hasn't tried before? like, let's get Grandma an ant farm? Maybe the reason your sister-in-law doesn't seem to own a black lace cami is not because she never thought of wearing one under her velvet blazer, but because in middle school she developed a baseless fear that she was, ahem, uneven?
So with malice toward none and charity toward all, here are some gifts that have caught my eye:
Like these! Have you noticed that once someone owns a cat, they always receive cat stuff gifts? A person could own a cat and have other interests. No matter what the cat says. So that's why I included the sheepie slippers, in case someone in your life is over-catted.
Now for my Christmas Day tee. I was first going to get the J.Crew factory stag tee after I saw how adorable it was on Ema. But honestly, everything is adorable on Ema. Me, not so much. So now the plan is to wear the Charging Hippopotamus Tee when Skype-ing with the teeny Gluttons, hoping that Skype-induced shyness will be overcome by the vision of Moi in the same shirt that they're all wearing... And for cooking and serving, no formalities. The days of the heirloom velvet-and-toile patchwork skirt with lace blouse are over. I loved that outfit, but hated how it made me a nervous wreck in the kitchen. A sweaty nervous wreck.
OK, right, malice toward none. Except I am also not going to wear that necklace.
Moving on, this is why gifts that encourage people to develop a new interest are not a good idea. It's actually but for the price what I was expecting and didn't see at the Target-Neiman Marcus holiday collaboration.
And who doesn't love hedgehogs?
Here are some more Christmas windows! These are from Bloomingdale's.
Bloomingdale's has done a "collaboration" with Cirque du Soleil this year. The animated little performers are entrancing. They won't stand still!
Every window has something that flies, runs, jumps, bounces, whatever!
I couldn't figure out what the guys (above) were doing, but they were doing a lot of it.
Also refusing to stand stll, or rather, lie still, are the mischievous little lavender sequins
adorning this skirt displayed in the window of the J. Crew collection store.
This picture is from their website, the window and traffic
were causing too many reflections for a street shot.
Could it be meant to be multi-dimensional?
Because if not, you'd think
they'd smooth it out before photographing it
or putting it in the window on Madison Avenue.

