fred comes home empty-handed and itchy

My hair's a little shorter for the summer, so the geometric sides swing forward and tickle my nose if I bend my head, to eat, to read a price tag, to look like I'm concentrating. And my nose doesn't deal well with being tickled. Add to that, we seem to be having an unusually lengthy pollen and mold season, heat and rain having made trees and plants think they're super-flora, and I really belong home, under air conditioning. Unusually for this early in August, however, sale merch has been cleared out of most stores, and it's just not possible even to keep an appointment for an allergy shot without passing shop windows. Or doors. I report:

Anne Fontaine. Used to be my go-to place for great white shirts, but for the past few years they've been overdoing the black-and-white or black-white-red thing. Will post about them again when a great white shirt comes to the surface (cue theme from Jaws).

J.CREW

J.Crew. I have seen the Schoolboy and it is -- fill in sardonic political comparison of your choice. If it were stock, someone would be facing prosecution for dilution. It even looks shrunken on the hangers. Something must be wrong with the fabrics, too, because my fingers started itching when I did the fabric rub. Saw navy, saw gray, stopped there. Orange tees. Orange everywhere. A harbinger of a change in foreign policy? Also the Paramilitary Marching Mercenary Mini, I mean the Cavalry Skirt, seemed much shorter in person than it looks on the web site. Or do I just take up more room in it? I'm trying to be fair here.

Gap. Good Friends and Family 30% off sale going on now. 35% with BR or Gap card. Here's a link -  Gapfriendsandfamily

Banana Republic. The stock in my local - unimpressive. The stock at the BR where I found the Madewell was arranged more enticingly, but my fingers also cracked and itched from substances whose names end in  -on and -ester and -ate. And more orange.

Barney's. Heavy construction going on at the door. Kept moving.

TALBOTS

Bloomingdale's. Still some sale stuff, some new stuff coming out on the floor. I usually have good luck with one or more of their Ralph Lauren or Lauren departments for basics, but not yet. And they have great sales, always did. So I'll wait.

Talbot's. Saw a skirt that looked like the J.Crew Paramilitary Marching Mercenary Mini, seemed long enough not to distract the troops. Cardigans, pants.

MADEWELL

Madewell.  My mom used to accuse certain long gone department stores of having magic mirrors. She loved everything she tried on in the store, got it home, remorse, remorse. She also claimed to believe that mind-bending gas was piped through the ventilating systems of certain unscrupulous merchants, so that you thought you were taller, slimmer, more well-to-do. After all, she'd say, they add oxygen to the AC to keep gamblers awake and losing in Vegas, so how do I know that commercial science stopped there? How, indeed, because Mom's mirror guy or maybe the Vegas gas guy supplies whoever designs the cute folksy dressing rooms at Madewell. I bought something that I adored in one of the Manhattan stores, got it home, put it on, it looked like it was designed and sewn by my worst enemy. I know I don't have bumps where that thing put them. I returned it to a Madewell store in the suburbs, not wanting to risk another inhalation. The SA didn't want to take it. I pointed to sales tag, showed my receipt, she continued to protest: that store didn't carry that item, she might have to send it (gasp!) to the City. I suggested we get the website up on my iPhone and have a responsive reading of the return policy. That did the trick. Looked around, jean shirts, orange tees, cute-sy socks, balled-up scarves. Lots of rayon. Is this 1930's nostalgia? In 1930's and 40's lit, only cheap chicks wear rayon. The gals who get the job or the guy wear silk or wool or real uniforms. Left the credit on the card, felt virtuous. There's still another ParaMilitary Skirt on the website but not in store.