fred's mind goes blank in Anthropologie

I always go into a trance in Anthropologie. What I really want to do is try on the cute shoes I've seen on the website, and that falls under the jurisdiction of the Department of Life Is Too Short, so I wind up looking for cute bras. Had one with little bats and spiders on it that scared the dickens out of grabby boys back in the day. From time to time while looking at frou-frou that looks itchy but otherwise interesting, I wonder where I could have left it. I think I remember what might have happened to the one with the multicolor butterflies, but that's not going on the Internet. Can you even buy a bra in Anthro once you've left puberty behind? The website is ambiguous on this point. The bras themselves look ambiguous.

Well, this is the Anthropologie Effect. It's astounding that I manage to buy anything here at all. As I look around the store, females of all ages are dazed and confused and standing in line holding things. Not shoes, though. Back through the many tiny departments to see where that girl found the multicolored glasses, and I could use a hat like the one her friend is clutching. Do I have to meet someone somewhere? Is it getting late? Probably. I don't get lost in the Anthro on Lincoln Road in Miami, probably because it's a much bigger space and I can tell where the exits are from any point in the store. Here in my home town, I have become a stranded waif. A waif clutching a $40 dish towel, mind you.

What stores put you into a vertical buying coma?


  1. Anthro does that to me too. Ikea is another store that comes to mind. I go in, fully intended to take measurements of this and that, not even intending to buy anything, and walk out with a colander, candles, a frame and a bathmat. I blame the cinnamon buns and coffee they hawk near the entry way. Trance immediately in effect when you walk in the store. Hmm.

  2. wow, IKEA, yes, absolutely! trying to find the car with a cartload of random merchandise... the budget shopper's Walk of Shame.

  3. In a local boutique named Blue Light Special. Wandered around trying sweaters, dresses and skirts. Walked out with a coin purse that looks like a tiny pair of men's tightie whities, only not blue, not white. Have been back many times to purchase lovely clothes from Free People, Velvet and Vero Moda but it happened to me once, I swear.


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