My new hero

Out to the west coast for a family gathering, truncated by bad weather and cancelled flights, but it's always a joy to be with the Teensiest Gluttons, and not even the inexplicable nasties of the American Airlines personnel at JFK on the flight out can dampen spirits all that much.

Here's what happened: we had reserved exit row seats, our flight was cancelled, American emailed the passengers on the cancelled flight, inviting all to rebook at no extra charge, and so we did, booking - again - exit row seats. Because of the dubious weather, we were at the gate almost an hour early. The flight was oversold, but in today's economy, I won't take the chance of being stuck with a travel voucher. We sat still and waited. Finally, the flight boarded, and we were having our boarding passes scanned at the gate when the gate agent told us that our seats had been reassigned, and proffered new boarding passes, which were not for exit row seats. Since we typically fly steerage, the extra inch-and-a-half of an exit row means something, and we asked how and when this change had occurred. The gate agent, in a principal's secretary voice, explained that she couldn't tell us. We stood still, the line behind us, and said we were at the very least, entitled to an explanation. It seems there was a (hushed voice) notation on our record, but she could not tell us who put a notation on our reservation, when this happened, and why. We asked for a supervisor. Gate nazi said that the plane would be in the air by the time she could reach a supervisor. We asked why we were only learning of the change now. Gate nazi claimed to have paged us. We pointed out that we had seen her arrive and open the position, and there had been no page. She claimed that the new seats were just as comfortable as the exit row seats. This was probably the most glaring untruth of the day - Himself was in a center seat between 2 overweight caucasian sumo wrestlers. I was seated in a "bulkhead window seat;" when seated, I had three inches of headroom, and no space to store my in-flight necessaries bag. Yes, I measured the headroom, I always travel with a bunch of gadgets. To leave the seat, I was required to participate in a threesome with some very unhappy strangers.

OK, enough. Suffice it to say that my new hero is Gérard Dépardieu. He understands.


Update: yes, I know about the latest Dépardieu incident, that's why I admire him, and were I similarly equipped I might have done the same.

Second update: we are now home and I wish to report that I forgot to take out my iPad when we went through security on the return trip and NO BELLS RANG AND I WAS NOT STOPPED!This at the same airport where a tube of mascara (Trish McEvoy) was confiscated from me because "it could be dangerous." Yes, I'm a real threat when I can blink with emphasis.