scenes from the life of one of history's great men

You know what I would do right now if I were Mickey Drexler? I'd get the "design team" started on a line of red-white-blue athletic and sports wear, sourced in the US, made in the US, quality tested in the US. I'd get it into production ASAP. I'd dribble out an item or two every season, and I'd keep the Fords ones that sell well in production. The line, especially the Crewcuts pieces, would have a Military Famiiy Discount. Someone else can think of the slogans and the rhythmic commercials. I'd concentrate on growing JC Red White'nBlues. So that the line would be ready well in time for the next Olympics.

Will this happen? Well, I don't think it's impossible. Dear Leader is renowned for an assertive brand of creativity. Last fall, CNN aired an adulatory mini-special, which you can find described over here, at JCrewAficionada. I was inspired to conjecture a few of the creative moments in the life of Dear Leader, and I hope Alexis won't mind if I repeat them here, as a prologue to the latest great step forward in retail inspiration.
Dear Leader invents the stripe: Look, there's a mark across that shirt. Hey, what if we put another one under it? And then another one under that? And another. And another.

Dear Leader invents the folkloric look:
--Sir, General Petraeus is on the phone. He has those native Afghan embroidery samples for you, and he's taught an elite unit of Rangers to embellish.
--Tell him to hold, I'm inventing the stripe.

Dear Leader invents the shoe:
These socks are filthy. Why do the bottoms of the socks get so dirty? Attention. Sock bottoms are dirty! Wait, what if we put something over the part that touches the floor. Great! Order 40,000 gross, broken sizes, standard colors, all plastic. Can anyone say plastic in Italian?

Dear Leader invents the inventory system:
OK, all together, a-one, a-two, a-three, a-four....
I once read that when Leonardo was considering taking on an apprentice, he'd have the young hopeful draw a circle freehand. I tried it, and believe me this is not easy, especially if you have no talent. It was a great test for Leonardo to use, because it was a quick way of weeding out the no-hopers. So between that and tales of early historical sun worship, I just assumed that round shapes had been around for a long time. No! They are a recent invention, and here is the proof:

Imagine, a whole team of future Ralphs and Calvins chained to their drawing tables creating circles. And putting those circles on clothing? Who thought that up? See, not only is Dear Leader himself more inventive than Edison, he inspires creativity in the young. I am in awe.

Serious about those RWBs, though.



    That is some sort of misstep that RL made. What was he thinking?

  2. Hi, CC! After all these years of making clothes that last forever, or since 1967 anyway... Hubris?

  3. You have Likely already got our dear leader's brain twirling....

  4. A discount for military families? Too close to Nascar for Mickey.

  5. Hi, WMM, I'm hoping the PA announcements will be heard coast to coast.

  6. Hi, Raina, well, maybe just on a few obscure little holidays. Like Veterans' Day. Or Memorial Day.

  7. I'd made the same assumption, fool that I am!
    Thanks Fred I surely enjoyed this chuckle.

  8. Hi, DanI, creativity is its own reward.

  9. OMG - next time i go to NYC, I am marching in to the JC headquarters and demand control of the mic:

    "This is you Atlantic Canadian Captain Speaking. Women in the Maritimes of Canada are not XXS unless they are smoking a lot. Go immediately to the closest french restaurant, order cream, and forget sequins....That is all..."

    I will let you know how it all works out for me, WFF...

  10. WOMEN OF THE MARITIMES, I stand with you! even though my narrow feet are flopping out of my JC shoes ...

  11. Love the RWB line idea-- I think it would be huge. Sure to be more breathless notices of " creations" on the way. I would love to see a trend toward straightforward copy. "Here are some clothes with dots on them we thought you might like". Imagine.

  12. I am strangely reminded of the gradual disappearance of Plain Language legislation - you may remember, the laws that required legal documents to be written in words that a 7th-grader could understand. Of course a 7th-grade reading level ain't what it used to be, either. Imagine a mortgage+note written in little pictographs, little cabin sinking under piles of tied-up dollar bills.

  13. Ha ha ha, that's seriously funny. I am ok good with drawings so I just tried, my circle is more of an ellipse.Oh well...JCrew should put a patent on the invention ASAP in case someone else decides to use it.

  14. Hi, Slastena, it really does separate artistic geniuses from the rest of us, doesn't it? Of course, my particular genius is for finding the practical solution, and I would pull a quarter out of my (tiny) rear pocket and rip out a circle, hoping that at some point I'd figure out how to do it freehand. Well, I guess if those dots are state of the art dots, there might be something that can be patented.


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