Not I, said the little red hen. or then again, maybe I will.

This chicken has her own PR staff. Her picture is everywhere, her cute little hat and pert tush are the delight of millions. You couldn't click on a fashion site or blog today without seeing her or her stylish sister.

Why are the girls such a hot topic? Well, entering the fashion scene at this point in what no one dares call a depression, the girls have brought an age-old topic to the embarrassing forefront: they're cute, they look like they'll be fun, but are they worth it? Usually it's a guy asking himself that, but, gotta tell ya, I've had some one-night stands myself. With apparel, that is. Nothing that would have made me the oldest person ever to post on Texts From Last Night, but still... That palest peach silk chiffon number with black beading, Elie Tahari, was more than an outfit, it was a life lesson.

Let us examine the sweaters closely, fabric content first.

I was hoping these shots would also give you an idea of the colors, but I don't think they will, so I will. The brown is like a very deep camel, and the navy is a black navy à la early Donna Karan.

The neck label tells us "with cashmere." To me those words evoke the peanut factory warning: "produced in a factory where products containing nuts, especially peanuts may have been made," or "produced on machinery that may have been used to produce products that may contain peanuts." Now the peanut allergy is deathly dangerous and frightening, and not being allergic to peanuts is one of the blessings that cheers me up in the Bleak Season: "I don't have to change a litterbox. I'm not allergic to peanuts. The market will charge and deliver. The scale is probably wrong anyway."

but with cashmere? Not even "contains cashmere?" Both sweaters had this label.

At Jones Beach, an enormous and truly beautiful public beach on Long Island, there are refreshment stands at which are sold cups of a warm thin red broth in which bob cubes of potatoes. This is sold as "clam chowder", although to date not one shred of clam has been found in the soup. My mom would speculate that they got away with calling it clam chowder because once or twice a week, a giant clam would come splashing by the stands, flapping his wet clammy fringes in blessing over the vats as he passed. I mentioned in an earlier post, will mention again, I envisioned a  Great Shaggy Himalayan Goat strolling by the spinning machine to lend some credence to the "with cashmere" reference.
Persevering, I found another label in the side seam of each sweater. There is 15% cashmere, 60% wool, and 30% nylon. Glad that's cleared up.

Neither sweater can be worn next to the skin. I note that the brown is softer - and a bit fuzzier - than the navy. Because the crew neck is really nicely shaped, I wouldn't want to lose the shape by wearing the sweater over a collared blouse. A high-necked plain cami would do for protection.

The fit is great. Finally, the hens are not positioned so that any feature of a hen would make be in an embarrassing position when worn. Also great. I always worry about this with graphics.



I fear that this is a hand-wash in cold water, dry flat item. The legs, wing and features are stitched on, not knitted in. This is nicely done, but I wouldn't risk a dry cleaner or a washing machine.

My instinct would be to get the navy, if I get one at all, but the pale cream color of the hen would not stay intact long if I did. Sadly, the brown is not a great color for me. This adds up to zero, which is not the result I wanted. I'm going to give them a few days and try again.


Another question: is hen-wear age-appropriate for anyone who has finished Kindergarten?
Like so much else in life, the answer depends on style and accessories. I say this because it's nicely cut  - well, not cut - fitted? and the colors are grownup.  So look at this jacket from Urban Outfitters as shown on their site, on a 20-something. Cute, right? Picture it in the city, on a 50-something over a strapless little black dress of an early September evening. I'd do it. Picture it over a black tank and beige slacks at a business-related cocktail party on an oceanfront deck. Works for me. I don't consider those henners workwear, unless you're chairing Parent's Night around Easter, and there are less expensive ways to look cute for such occasions.  I'd do the tan henner with black slacks, the navy henner with navy slacks, and wouldn't fool around with pattern matching. Unless JC decides to make a pair of capris with a bug-and-dried-corn motif? Ooh, yummy. Oh, and I certainly wouldn't wear it with last winter's Plumage Mini.

Well, chickies, that's it for now. Those little giggles you hear are me waiting for the Space Translator Who Minored in French to come up with a completely inappropriate expression about amusing oneself with hens.