you can also take it apart and braid it into an outdoor clothesline

no stars
-(❋)
The moment I saw this dress I had to have it. This kind of visceral reaction is usually reserved for works of art, and the occasional man, but the dress called out to me from a Certain Booklet Formerly Known as The Catalog, plus I had a magic discount code on which time was running out, plus I had the perfect shoes. See? Grey, dark grey, bright yellow, all leather Chies.

The dress is composed of a cocktail of mysterious ingredients, what my old boss would have called "a medieval cure for snakebite," but none of the fibers were fur or wool and there was a lot of white and some cotton, so I figured it might be a good restaurant dress for transitional times of year, when the a/c is still on. And I loved the way I thought the shoes would work with it. Synchronicity?

I interrupt to offer an important definition: restaurant dress. A restaurant dress must look good when you enter - moves gracefully with you, it must look good at the table, it must take well to jewelry, it must breathe because I go to restaurants to eat food and drink wine and I don't want to faint at the table and fall in a plate of gravy; it must have a little room in case I want dessert which is usually; and it must look good from the back in case I need to leave the table, meaning it must not get baggy from being sat in. The fabric must not give you a red face or a sudden rash on the wrist - you're at a table, face to face with Someone. The requirements are in fact so stringent that I often wind up in restaurant pants or restaurant twinset with skirt. However, a good restaurant dress will take you far.... like to good restaurants! I did not give this dress ANY stars.

There was a little drama concerning the arrival of the dress, nothing serious, we can skip that.
First the good news: I was right about the shoes.

Close look at fabric
As for the rest - I have returned the dress. Of course I still have my shoes.


The fabric is truly a modern miracle: it stretches but it doesn't breathe. It's not quite as plastic-y as the woven stuff on the seats of cafe chairs, and it is more flexible. For your money, you get: thick-n-thin white threads, medium lumpy black threads, the occasional fleck of silver glitter which shows up blue-grey in my close-ups, and other. The body of the dress is lined, but not the sleeves. The lining is polyester.

Small darts at the set-in waist point up and down to shape bust and bottom. 
The designer must have been channelling Sonia Rykiel 
ever so faintly because all of the darts are inside out.




The waist is set in, and the seam allowance on the waist strip is fringed, top and bottom.

Self-fringed waistband
close up


There is more of the self-fringing on the self-binding around the neckline and at the cuff. I like the shape of the neckline, but having those fibers in touch with my neck didn't appeal. It's possible that the synthetic components may offer some protection against all that self-fringing getting carried away with itself, but I wouldn't count on it. We know where it came from and what the prevailing standard of craftsmanship is .

I wish J.Crew had gotten this dress right. On the other hand, since I do not weave outdoor upholstery, I see no possible use for the fibers in my life should there be pilling and unravelling, and I suspect there will be.

44 comments:

  1. Another swing and a miss. What a shame, because the dress would look delightful with those gorgeous shoes. Wearable art is only wearable if you can actually abide the feel of the fabric!

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  2. I find myself wishing that they'd made it in a lightweight wool.
    (time passes)
    still wishing.

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  3. I really dislike inside out darts. What were they thinking?

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    Replies
    1. Hi. Rose. so what makes you think they were thinking?

      seriously, saving another 5 cents per unit in mfg. costs comes to mind.

      Delete
  4. Whatever happened to cotton? To wool? What about silk for heavens sake? Are the days of gaberdine gone? I really prefer to wear clothing - especially restaurant dresses - of natural fibers...not fabrics concocted in a lab. Apparently that is too much to ask. I'm feeling cranky and wish I had my grandmother's sewing room and skill so I could design and make exactly what I want-just like she did. Too bad the old gal never taught me her wild sewing skills. She just taught me enough to me how to shop by touch-first feeling the fabric then pulling the garment off of the rack if it passed the first test...a blessing or a curse...I have yet to decide.

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    Replies
    1. Hi,JulieStyles, I have a whole list of things they should have done better, individually and by category. But who tries to sell plastic cresses at all?

      Delete
  5. BLACK, WHITE & RETURNED WFF, I think they put together this hodgepodge from the clippings off the sweat(er)shop, ahem factory, floor. Same yen for better place that makes handbags and shopping totes from recycled seat belts, juice boxes and newsprint rolls. But with none of the eco-credit. Your reservation, dinner companions, wallet and those fab-u-lous heels definitely deserve better. But ta for the dressmaker detailed review and the mid-afternoon grin.

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    Replies
    1. Hi, GetFresh, glad you enjoyed! I know this happens with fur trimmings, those cute little fluffy mink collars quite often come from offcuts. But they're still mink.

      Delete
  6. We must be on the same wavelength today! The plastic webbing on the chairs! I knew the fabric feel was familiar. Too bad because the fit was great, I did not mind the darts and the fringe but the fabric is awful.

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    1. Hi, ajc! Yes, the fit made me very happy, finally a waistband that didn't sit on the bra strap! I was afraid with typical JC workmanship the fringe would continue to unravel, and also that it would itch....

      Delete
  7. OMG - you are killing me. I felt like I was watching a professor, what with the timely use of a "pointer" to indicate the flaws!

    Who is making these clothes??? If I was making clothes they would all look like silk but feel like flannel. Of course, I grew up in a small town in Canada. I kind of wish everything was made of flannel...

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    Replies
    1. Me too WMM, and I wish I had some cozy flannel right now. Last year LLBean Signature made those cotton and silk flannel dresses, and they are very nice but the plaid pattern is very lumber-jack-ish, not very suitable for any restaurant save a sugar-shack. Mmmm, sugar-shack!
      I also loved Fred's pointer!

      Delete
    2. Hi, WMM, the "pointer" is my latest try at finding an undereye concealer that doesn't leave me looking like I have to tell folks I walked into a door. Jury's still out on the concealer, I think we have a verdict on the dress.

      Delete
    3. Every other year or so,I treat myself to a flannel shirt from Ralph Lauren. They last. I have to gain weight to get rid of them.

      Delete
  8. Soooo disappointing. The shape and idea were great. But once again, the quality is desperately lacking. Sigh. Thanks for the fun and detailed review though!

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  9. Always read the fabric content when you cannot touch the fabric. If JC and others don't list the fabric content and percentages therein, then call or chat and get a record of the chat emailed to you. Never trust acrylic or ramie, the once prevalent pseudolinen. I personally make an exception for viscose/rayon as it comes from wood and to my mind and my hand drapes beautifully. However some woven viscose/rayon can do you in, while the knit versions have often proved trustworthy.The foregoing will always let you down. I made a point to mention the acrylic to an SA in the collection store who asked why I was frowning at a sweater. The SA made a point of telling me that JCrew is very interested in customer feedback and she would pass on the message. That was last year, I guess the message is still traveling or lost in space.
    When you see the art that you must have, how to you coax it out of the museum with you?
    AA

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    Replies
    1. Hi, AA! Oh, do I read labels, I even turn things inside out to be sure there aren't any contradictory labels lurking in a side seam! This thing, however, suckered me in from a scan of a catalog page with no detail. Somewhere all my female ancestors in the sky are shaking their ethereal heads and telling one another that they raised me better.i can't wear rayon, knit or woven, although I love the way it holds color.

      As to art, I could tell you, but then I'd have to... seriously I'm fortunate to live near some lovely collections which makes it easy to visit favorites. Regularly.

      Delete
    2. Ah, L'Orangerie. Enough said. Kill me if you have to, but tell me how to coax them home with me.
      AA

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    3. And uncultured moi thinking you wanted tips on getting Nicolas Fargues to follow you home. Speaking of works of art. And sighs.

      Delete
    4. Here is an easy one. How about Jean Nouvel, then I have art and heart all in one. Can he lead me to my new home?

      Delete
  10. This was such a comical and fully formative post! I too am always searching for resturant worthy attire, it can be a difficult challenge. Glad it wasn't final sale or anything and you could return it :)

    Btw, you had me at: "a medieval cure for snakebite".

    Tasia

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Tasia, glad you enjoyed! I don't think the dress spent 24 hours in my house, and thank goodness for instore returns.

      Delete
  11. Fred if I owned those particular Chie's I would have done same: ordered this dress. It looked promising and a few years ago J Crew may not have bunged it up so so badly.
    So right about restaurant dress categories, where are we going to find these elusive frocks?
    Thanks for this you had me laughing.

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Dani, glad you enjoyed! Seriously, in theatre or concerts, it's dark and you're not face-to-face, it's nowhere near as problematical.

      Delete
  12. Reading the fabric tag, I can practically smell that dress!

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    Replies
    1. Hi, silver_lining, it didn't stay here long enough to leave a trace.

      Delete
  13. I adore you, J.Crew, and you do a lot of things right, but WTF with charging an arm and a leg for these unnatural poly/acet/on materials?

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Lisa, especially when those arms are not lined!

      Delete
  14. Woof. I don't understand how items like this keep making it to production. It is truly astonishing!!! Thank you for the hilarious review.

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    Replies
    1. Hi, J.CrewJD, glad you enjoyed! My view of the production process is that someone has an idea, and the rest of the "team" nickels and dimes it into garbage.

      Delete
  15. Aaaaagggghhhhhh...JC never does that fringed crap right. It always looks cheap and weird. I would try this on for the blog only, but not once did I get excited about this dress. They totally lost me at the neckline. Love your restaurant attire requirements! ITA :)

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Gigi! I'm sad this dress didn't work out. Restaurants seem to be the only thing I get dressed up for these days. Theatre, ballet, concerts - might just as well wear a housecoat.

      Delete
  16. LOL great review! I'm sad for you though, since the dress seemed to fit you well and would have suited your style to a tee, methinks. Glad you didn't keep it for more than 24 hrs, or you may have had to inform your insurer. Slightest brush against a heat source or candle flame and the dress would have gone up in a nuclear ball of toxin-spewing flame. Oy.

    BTW, picked out something our friend the Copywriter from Space may have had a hand in. Screen cap on my blog tonight. Do share your 2c.

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    Replies
    1. Thakns, CC! I actually didn't think about flammability, which could have been a factor with candles on the table. Dinig put with Himself, a girl sometimes needs a good reach!

      On my way over to your blog...

      Delete
    2. autocorrect strikes again (how? how?), that should have been "Dining out!" grrr.

      Delete
  17. Loved the exhaustive review! V.disappointing as I too liked the look of the dress. Where are they, all the lovely restaurant dresses?

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Lane, a few are aging in my closet, but since I eat out with the same guy, I like to vary the outfits. The quest continues.

      Delete
  18. Wellfedfred,

    May I ask a completely off topic question? Well, I read that you have two J Crew wool-cashmere coats in hanging in your closet while you try to decide which color to purchase. Now that there is a 25% off full price sale, I am considering that coat as well. I have never purchased a JC coat and was wondering if you could assist me with any details about the coat. I am particularly interested in the quality of the coat as I am trying to decide whether to purchase it or wait for the next Brooks Brothers sale in October and get another BB coat. I just received the BB cotton trench and it is fantastic for the sale price. If you have a minute to assist me I would really, really appreciate it! TIA.

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  19. of course!
    ❤the fabric is thick, the coat is fully lined, it seems to be longer than most JC coats, comes below the knee - I'm 5'5. I think this is a good thing, I have enough jackets.
    ❤ pockets are well placed, belt is nice and long and the buckles are good quality
    ❤lining is edged with a foulard print, v, cute
    ❤no noticeable defects
    ❤keeping the navy! I loved the idea of the burgundy, but sadly it made my complexion look a little wan and, um, dissolute. Well, we can't have that. Plus I think the navy is more classic.

    ReplyDelete
  20. THANK YOU so very, very much!!! I am definitely going to give it a try. I am going to go with the navy also as I like the idea of a classic. I surely hope it will work well for me as well!! Again, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. That dress was mine until you dissected it. No likey plasticky for my dressy (sorry!).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe if enough people don't buy it, they'll learn something?
      Naahhh. Not them.

      Delete
    2. In my most recent post, I chatted about dumping two things from my cart because I saw they were NOT silk as I had assumed ... Humph!

      Delete

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