I'd love to try this at home

Did anyone else pick up on this? it was one of these quickie cute news stories that flickered and vanished, I just loved it.

Television news does that, they rush theough something that really gets your attention and is fresh and interesting, and then they drone on and on about something you already know, like how some of our elected representatives don't have a good grasp on the uses of money.

This - tada! - is the story: It seems that the keepers at the Berlin Zoo (Germany, not Ohio) have  discovered that the elephants enjoy munching on Christmas trees. News film showed them enjoying their annual treat, tossing the merry pines in the air, tearing off and chowing down on branches.

Keepers were quoted as saying the elephants enjoy the aroma as well as the taste. I'd like to know how they know that - if an elephant is poking at something with his trunk, is he checking out how best to pick it up for closer review, or is he sniffing it?
Whatever, the elephants looked like they were having a great time, and I wished they'd shown more footage. But no, back to the anchors, who were smiling and agreeing that this was a charming story - and then one of the anchors had to read something that could only have been written by someone who had gotten a law degree through the mail slowly.
"The trees you have seen being fed to the elephants in this story are unused Christmas trees donated by Christmas tree vendors. Christmas trees that have been used should not be fed to elephants as they may contain wire, tinsel and other decorative materials that could be harmful to elephants if ingested." The other anchor, who had to sit there and look interested while this - not a disclaimer, more like a label warning - was being read, looked like she was going to strangle on her tongue, she was trying so hard not to shout "You gotta be kidding!"
Well, if I ever find an elephant out in the yard at Flintstone Manor in December or January, which is improbable but not altogether impossible given the winter population of performing deer and assertive rabbits and birds that have lost interest in migrating further south and will not go home or at least move over to someone else's yard, I will be sure not to offer that intrepid elephant used Christmas tree branches. Please note that in our house we don't use tinsel.

I think if they were going to add warnings, they should also have warned the public not to wear pine-scented colognes or sit in rooms that sprayed with holiday atmosphere before they go hang out with elephants. If a bored and hungry elephant can toss an 8-foot tree overhead because it likes the aroma, I wouldn't take any chances.

Oh, and our legal department suggests that I advise my readers to take appropriate precautions as well.

29 comments:

  1. Some time ago I read a story about a new oven on the market. The oven door had printed on it - do not use this door as a ladder - death or injury may result. Protection from being sued? We yes. After someone DID stand on their oven door, and fell off, broke his leg and SUCCESSFULLY sued the manufacturer for not having any warnings printed on the oven. It is hard to over-estimate stupidity isn't it?

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    1. Hi, The Elephant's Child, these "please don't be as stupid as our lawyers think you are" warnings are everywhere, and when they first appeared, Himself and I would read them aloud and laugh. Now we just find them irritating. This warning - really, would a family carrying a used tree even get into a zoo these days? Oh, who knows. Imagine a line of hopeful but dumb folks, dragging discarded trees, being turned away at a zoo entrance.

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  2. And no pine tree air fresheners in the car if you're offering one a lift!

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    1. oh, right, forgot about those! Well, you can't be too careful.

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  3. So cute! I wonder how they learned the elephants liked the trees, don't think that's a normal part of their environment?

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    1. Maybe the elephants were out for a walk and got distracted by Christmas decorations?

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  4. Hello:
    In all of this, what we are most comforted by is the knowledge that your house is a tinsel free zone. We thought that we were the last surviving household without such a 'festive decoration', but now we find ourselves in your stylish company. Now, where is the nearest elephant?!!!

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    1. Hattatts! Welcome back! Hope you had a great break!

      I thought Budapest has a lovely zoo?

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  5. Well I like a good elephant as well as the next person, our province has extra christmas trees galore at the end of the season, most of which are mulched for gardens, but I see an export market for our christmas tree growers!!!

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    1. or, if word gets around for a tourist market among elephant-foodies, which would be just elegant.

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  6. Well that's it then. No more Christmas trees for me!

    As for elephants, one never knows when one will show up. I was on the bus a number of years ago. January, morning commute, still dark as night out, when I look out the bus window and there, in the dark, standing in the snow, was an elephant.

    An elephant.

    I and a six-year-old across the aisle from me were the only ones to see it. Everyone else was staring into their phones...

    I've always wondered what kind of memory that is for that little girl. I know I love it!

    Pearl

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    1. Pearl, how absolutely delightful, I love this.
      While the Radio City Christmas Show is running, the camels and friends get taken for exercise very early in the morning, delighting early-morning commuters and startling others whose work night may just be finishing.

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  7. Too funny! No danger here, our Xmas tree is from China (I mean made of plastic, not from the chinese woods!)

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    1. hi, Ema, well, I guess elephants are safe in your house!
      I thought it was too bad that this story was on the latenews, if it was on at 6 pm, kids could have seen it.

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  8. Hi Fred-Thanks for the great elephant pix. Elephants look like they know how to have fun, but I'm glad none have shown up for dinner, yet. As for the warnings, they make me think even more fondly of my childhood, the days before such idiocy was tattooed on every surface, as well as those d@$%ed safety seals on everything.

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    1. hi, David, I think the first dopey warning I saw was on the little thing they put in pill bottles to keep the pills dry, and it bore language to the effect that it was not a pill. Very enlightening. Meanwhile Himself has decided he wants to go to elephant camp. There are all kinds of sports camps for adult sports fans, some team-affiliated, some not, so why not elephant camp? I can hardly get the computer away from him.

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  9. They're (the elephants) are probably so bored they love to grapple with something rrrr like that. Maybe we all should try grappling with a tree for therapy!

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    1. I am usually a huge meat eater but I don't think I could eat Santa's transport, even tasty pine needle infused. What do you reckon?

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    2. me neither, but that's because I think with that crushing workload, their meat would probably be tough.

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  10. hi, About Last Weekend, according to the news report, the trees are a taste treat. I was muttering "oh yeah, right," until I read that a couple of restaurants have opened in town featuring haute Scandinavian specialties. One of these is reindeer meat flavored with pine needles.
    Our local polar bear was dangerously bored and depressed a few years ago and the zoo hired an animal shrink for him. The shrink designed some toys that would challenge his strength and problem-solving ability. So you may be right about the tree-grappling.

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  11. What fun! It appears as though the elephants find the fir trees an exotic treat. Nothing as crunchy and green in their usual environs. Pine needles also have vitamin C.

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    1. good to know, I'd hate to see those elephants coming down with skin diseases.

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  12. I saw that article. They really seem to be enjoying those trees. Zoos are awful. The elephants deserve at least a momentary diversion.

    I receive an article of clothing a few weeks ago that came in a plastic bag emblazoned with "do not put over head".

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    1. I dont kniw why, but I'm starting to think "May this house be safe from tigers."

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  13. I have just squirted some pine fresh cleaner round the toilet rim. Will make sure I lock the door when I next pay a visit.

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    1. tee hee. thinking of elephant rinsing spray off the tops of the tile walls in the shower, they could be helpful. But we definitely don't want them slurping up cleaning products, one can't be too careful.

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