the tail end of the holidays tails off

Moving into January, in our latitude the days are a few minutes longer but mostly the afternoons are still dark and desperate, in the sense of overdue work assignments, unfinished projects, unimproving self-improvement missions. And February approaches. February is a dangerous time around here, the post-holiday letdown of early January turns into full-fledged demented boredom. Most of my failed experiments have failed in February. It was in February that I learned that I was not meant to have red hair. In February I learned that there are only 2 days a year (neither in February) that I can wear leather slacks, and this does not mean that I should have spent the money just in case life finds me in St Petersburg in October again. In February I learned that I should not date professional athletes. The air hums with undertones of pointless squabbles, I step around piles of things that one of us wants to throw out and the other still uses/needs/wants. If Julia Child had 75 frying pans, surely I can have an extra 3 or 4?
Meanwhile, it's still January, and in another few days we will celebrate "Give up waiting for a thank-you and call them and make sure the thing got there" day. Bills arrive, complaint time is running out. I did try to simplify things, our holiday dinners were streamlined this year, and I also excused myself from some of the hall-decking and stupid crafting in which I usually indulge. Nor did I bake, although I took out the cookie cutters and let them get some fresh air. But it wouldn't be right to start a new year without some festive silly food, would it?
This seems to be the year of the Food Diorama, so here we go:

What is so festive about upended shaved zucchini, you ask? well, I thought they looked like they were watching over the sheep. In fact, I thought they looked worried about the sheep. As in, "the zucchinis were abiding in the fields..."
so even though the merry vegetables shown here don't meet my usual criterion of being something you would put on a plate and let the kids carry around to the company, I felt their participation in a little holiday pageant of their own deserved recognition. Laaadies and gentlemen, your attention please! Before we put away the rest of the boxes and file the last of the gift receipts, a special treat! The zucchinis will abide in the fields!

I also want to introduce you to a new genre in food art - new to me anyway: Historical Landmarks Not Made of Cake and Frosting. The first one is easy:






and the other is Shakespeare's birthplace, featuring the leftovers from (someone else's, not my) Sunday lunch. Note the teeny ham pennants delicately festooning the landscaping behind the house. It's all in the details.

33 comments:

  1. I do like an olive penguin at casual, family drinks. But those food artists clearly have too much February on their hands. Hope you don't have to make too many "Is it there yet?" calls WFF.

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    1. Hi, GF, penguins and mice are more my style, too.

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  2. These are brilliant, I love it!

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    1. Hi, Cate, my weakness for food art and peculiar recipes is well documented here.

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  3. I'm a total sucker for this kind of thing - I love them! Now, would you like to see my dolphin/banana?

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  4. Eww all that ham! Still I find it charming!

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    1. Hi, Dani, I would have done the thatched roof in Shredded Mini-Wheats. Maybe the ham is supposed to represent the roof after a really bad windstorm?

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  5. The ham roof is terrifying! I do like all of the creatures, especially the inky faced sheep.

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  6. hi, Tabs, I'm loving the sheep, too.

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  7. Those food animals are strangely expressive. Love it!

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    1. hi, Merry Wife, I agree, I thought they looked worried. Wondering what could be causing a zucchini to look so concerned?

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  8. Boy, you are certainly bored! :-)

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  9. hi, Ema, at least they're on the computer not on the stove. There may be hope for me.

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    1. Oh, I thought you had actually made them!

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    2. uh, no. I fin goofy food projects on the web, and share them with friends.

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  10. Okay - you are the official caterer for my 50th birthday party! This is too funny!

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    1. WMM, there will be a whole diorama of the Capture of Fort Ticonderoga in 1775.

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  11. "In February I learned that I should not date professional athletes." I never learned this lesson and ended up married to one (now former). Worked out OK though. ;^)

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    1. My goodness, it sure sounds like it did, xoxo! and your guy sounds like a real keeper, too.

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  12. The zuchinni reminded me of penguins (which I love). The sheep I loved, but the flaccid ham on Shakespeare's Birthplace gave me the shudders. I am not quite certain why - brilliant concept, excellently executed but... Stonehenge? No qualms.
    A post to smile at - thank you.

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  13. Glad you enjoyed it, The Elephant's Child. I would have used Shredded Wheat or Shredded Mini-Wheats for the thatch, I imagaine the builder of the Stratford on Avon Cold Buffet thought the ham would lend a touch of mystery. not for me, either.

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  14. Great post and I love the food animals, especially the sheep. Made me smile after a 2 hour visit to the dentist and the pain meds are wearing off.

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    1. oh, I think medicated is the best way to confront food art. I hope you feel better. I'm due for the dentist, too...

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  15. Love the sheep!!! Can't buhleeve you did the Shakespeare-- reminds me of a Steely Dan song: " I'm building the Andrea Doria, out of balsa wood".

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    1. Aaagghhh! No, I don't do this stuff, I just collect and share pictures of other people's dear but deranged efforts. Have I mentioned that cake wrecks.com is one of my favorite hangouts?

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    2. Oh, good. Someone else's leftovers. Will check out cake site, due for a few laughs.

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  16. Oh Fred, you continually delight and amaze! I love the sheep!!! Actually, someone gave us some English muffins for Christmas and they did resemble(and rather tasted too) the White Cliffs of Dover. I must check out this cake wrecks place.

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    1. thank you, David! unfortunately if the sheep are going to be served as appetizers - I love raw cauliflower - it looks to me like they'll need to be decimated first. otherwise you get a mouthful of cauliflower, olive, and dip, which just doesn't sound appetizing to me. Maybe we would be better off just putting our feet up and counting them.

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    2. autocorrect! that was decapitated!

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  17. Oh I love these, especially the sheep. I think the penguins are eggplant, are they not? The cheese plate is hilarious and so clever. And agree mini wheats are much better roofing material than the yucky looking ham, or is it spam?

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  18. Hi, tiffany rose, hm, maybe they are eggplant. As to whether or not that's spam, the food art people don't often share their ingredients lists. Whatever it is, it seems generally agreed that the roof as is, is unappetizing.

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