if the shoe fits

I have long, narrow feet with high arches and high insteps. And my big toe is the longest one, I always look like I'm pointing it my foot in some arcane dance step. I once tried to have shoes made in London. The salesmen gathered round and solemnly told me I could only have the styles that were based on the "Plantagenet last." 

I was entranced, but also way outpriced and the project went no further. Nevertheless, for years the thought of my historic, aristocratic feet comforted me every time I couldn't wear something pretty. One day it occurred to me that I may have misheard and the nice man may have been saying something that began with "plantar." Oh, well.

This came to mind because Jimmy Fallon, I think, recently did four minutes or so on "misheard  song titles." People tweeted them to him and he read a selection. Some were funny, but frankly I found some just puzzling. 

Here's a selection of misheard titles, names and just mixed-up words in general, that have been heard in and around our house:

Roast Beast - it's for Sunday dinner

the Frog's Neck Bridge - there are those who call it the Throggs Neck Bridge, and we call them unimaginative.

the Very, Very Narrow Bridge - it was named after Giovanni Verrazano, but tell than to a 5-year-old!

and the ducks - I have a friend who likes to get his ducks in a road before crossing it.

 my parents had a neighbor who must have been very mean to the iron railing on her front steps,

because it was always wroth.

and last week the choir favored us with the song about Grady:

I always had to stare out the window when I had to listen to the elementary school principal who was fond of saying that one thing was the same as another for all intensive purposes.

Another of his favorite words was "irregardless," but I don't want to go there. 

And then this gem came into my mailbox from Madewell, that is, it appeared after a click or two:

look at her poor toes! didn't one of Cinderella's stepsisters slice off a toe to try on the glass slipper? This poor model has her feet up inthe air for a reason - it hurts too much to stand up. Footloose and Fancy-free, my Aunt Fannie. I don't think the Copywriter From Space misheard the phrase, I think her version of Google translator - English cliché into Original Venusian Thought - let her down. I think my aristocratic little toe deserves better. Then again, maybe Madewell's photographer just has a sense of humor.