Die, autocorrect, die. Please?

I was wondering if the Copywriter from Space was related to the inventors of Autocorrect. This could explain a lot - if you want to conquer a population, History teaches us that confusing them and scaring them as a first step is a good idea, saves ordnance and assets, etc. So the possibility that there's a detachment of Hostile Space Creatures writing web and catalog copy, grocery and clothing labels and alumni newsletters, plus another platoon of same madly coding autocorrect... Orwellian doesn't begin to do it justice.


My adventures with Autocorrect, while irritating, are nowhere near terrifying as those chronicled on Damn You, Autocorrect, and I thank the inspired bloggers for collecting these gems and posting them for the rest of us to enjoy.
Spoiler alert: there is some very inappropriate and tasteless language lurking at the other end of that link. Some is inadvertent and some, as they say, is vertent.


And because I am feeling generous, here is another link.
What do we learn from this? Today is tax day. Many people file electronically. We need to hope that no one comes up with a way of filing tax returns by texting. The economy is in enough trouble already.
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18 comments:

  1. ruthApril 16, 2013 at 2:54 AM

    I just snorted at 'vaginal extract'!!
    Auto correct is the bane of my life. The ipad, in particular, seems to have some crazy auto correct life of its own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wellfedfredApril 16, 2013 at 7:12 AM

      Hi, Ruth, iPad is the worst, maybe because it isn't preloaded with a word processing program? or maybe because the Hostile Space Creatures are getting confident. The "big computer" in our house is comparatively polite.

      Delete
  2. Elephant's ChildApril 16, 2013 at 5:04 AM

    Autocorrect appears to have both a sadistic AND a salacious bent.

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    Replies
    1. wellfedfredApril 16, 2013 at 7:15 AM

      Hi, Elephant's Child, I think it's because the Hostile Space Creatures were not well brought up, and are now working in an environment where the language and customs are unknown to them. And like many would-be conquerors, they're arrogant and none of that matters to them.

      Delete
  3. LaneApril 16, 2013 at 8:36 AM

    Much appreciated giggle this AM!

    ReplyDelete
  4. RoseApril 16, 2013 at 11:56 AM

    Very funny, WFF! Since I got an iPad I have sent some interesting e-mails myself. :D

    I think you may have just given someone an idea about text-tax-filing.

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    1. wellfedfredApril 16, 2013 at 1:14 PM

      hoping not, Rose, the IRS does not have a sense of humor. Trust me on that.

      Delete
  5. Pat OlskiApril 16, 2013 at 12:01 PM

    WFF- Perhaps you are not being politically correct with regard to space creatures. Surely some of them can write. I think it is the earthlings that are at fault. Particularly a contingent from the land of over priced retail. Vertant may be my new favorite word- next to ironical , of course.

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    1. wellfedfredApril 16, 2013 at 1:21 PM

      Ah, see, I've long been of the opinion that the group from over-priced retail are space creatures. I used to think they were just ill-mannered prep-wannabees, but I started thinking there was more to it when a young lady-tron insisted that my sister try on a "Gar-BOR-de-on" wool suit jacket with denim shorts for a job interview at a government agency which cannot be named--in July. Since we are asked to believe that Dear Leader has a personal voice or hand in the selection of all JC employees - well, the rest is history.

      Remember Private Benjamin? The DI explaining grenades in basic, "some are inert. But others are ert."

      BTW, autocorrect really does not like "ert."

      Delete
  6. JRSConiferApril 16, 2013 at 12:31 PM

    WFF, thanks so much. I needed that laugh, I am on a 2 hour conference call about Excel :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wellfedfredApril 16, 2013 at 1:23 PM

      Tell 'em Lotus was better.

      I am now using a MAC.

      I miss:
      WordPerfect - paragraphing without pain, instant cross-referencing...
      Lotus spreadsheets
      Lotus notes

      sigh

      Glad you enjoyed!

      Delete
  7. xoxoApril 16, 2013 at 1:56 PM

    The autocorrect fails are always funny. The bad copywriting, not so much.

    ReplyDelete
  8. wellfedfredApril 16, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    I think there's a deranged sensibility behind both!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AbbyApril 17, 2013 at 5:24 AM

    I wish auto-correct worked. But since it doesn't, I turned it off the minute I got an iPhone - I'm not sure why more people don't.

    The fails are hysterical, though :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. About Last WeekendApril 17, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    Another reason to be glad I don't have a job, I don't have to file a return. Oh yeah, that's right - that's not a reason to be glad. Yes AC fails are hysterical, very O for awesome as one Kiwi celeb said.

    ReplyDelete
  11. wellfedfredApril 17, 2013 at 4:05 PM

    O for awesome - was that inadvertent or vertent?

    ReplyDelete

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