in case of a teeny tiny emergency, a little smidgen of preparedness

When I'm on the road, I always have some bandaids and pins tucked in the bottom of what I laughingly call my "cosmetic bag" - less than a quarter of the bag's contents are cosmetics in the strict sense of the word. This is the little wheelie bag that holds moisturizer, eye cream, prescription creams and ointments for dry skin, shampoo, conditioner, hair stuff, nail stuff, the migraine pills, the allergy stuff, vitamins... the "drugstore bag" might be a better name. Except that there's also an emergency set of socks and underwear, and if Girl Scout Thin Mints came in a travel size, you can bet I'd order a gross. For emergencies, you know. Mustn't forget the little sewing/mending kits from hotel rooms. There's not enough thread of any single color to handle a real emergency, like a falling hemline, and the needles have to be threaded by telepathy, but it's one of those instances where it's the "thought that counts." Before the TSA classified many useful things, including mascara, as potentially dangerous, I travelled with a stapler for hem issues. The holes that a staple makes are smaller than needle holes, so you're not damaging any fabric that wouldn't be hurt by a pin or needle.

Handbags - well, a severely edited version of the "cosmetic" bag's emergency supplies, plus a normal person's purse contents, and a mirror. Oh, and of course I don't gallop around town bearing underwear. Imagine groping for your J.Crew card and coming up with a not-so-teeny GapBody product. Evening bags tend to be J.Crew Invitation Clutches. At one time I collected these - suede, tweed, embellished, satin... These don't allow the bearer to be prepared for any emergency except one that requires flat equipment: yes to a bandaid, yes to a credit card, yes to small hanky, no to tissue pack, no to anything round, no to all reading glasses except the very expensive tiny rectangular antique spectacles. I saw a pair in platinum with diamonds on the earpieces, and did I think "What nerve! Obscene price! Bloated capitalism at its worst!" or any similar reaction? Noooo, I thought, "These might be perfect for my Invitation Clutches." Even quarters for parking meters shows through the fabric of the satin clutches. On the other hand, carrying a large satchel or tote when setting out for an evening with friends can be off-putting. To my eye, it looks like the bearer is expecting the worst, somewhere in there are tuna sandwiches, Mace and a fire extinguisher. In case you were worried, I'm now about convinced I have enough Invitation Clutches.

And so we come to the Minimergency Kit offered by J.Crew in the latest rollout. As it happens, I found one of these in my Christmas stocking, so I've had time to think about it. It's a little zipped bag, maybe 2" x 3 1/2 x 2", and is described as an:
ingenious mini-pack full of 17 must-haves: hair spray, clear nail polish, nail polish remover, an emery board, lip balm, earring backs, clear elastics, a mending kit, double-sided Shemergency tape, stain remover, a deodorant towelette, pain reliever, a tampon, breath freshener, dental floss, a safety pin and an adhesive bandage. The doll-sized mini-tampon belongs in the medecine cabinet of a precocious child's dollhouse and bears no relation to human anatomy. Although come to think of it, it might be useful for a small nosebleed.

As to the rest: you know how some people are immune to certain otherwise well-regarded remedies? Well, I'm immune to double-sided tape. I've tried several brands, including Hollywood Tape, and there's just something about the energy I generate, when a hem decides to fall down, it stays fallen. Leaving a trail of tape pieces doesn't add to the graceful impression. Nor does this product work on shirt gaps for those of us with boobage. Toss. Although if this tape works for you, you are among the lucky, and you should keep it.
My real issues with the kit are not with the utility of the products. For each product, there's no doubt someone to whom it could be a possible lifesaver. Rather, it's that most of the products are single-use items. Even if the generic deodorant wipe is to your liking, you'll use it once and have to track down refills. Same for the single - unwrapped - bandage. Otherwise put, after the first emergency, you'll be in the process of creating your own emergency kit. And it's too bulky for the Invitation Clutch. And J.Crew is charging $18 for it, while the same thing, in an equally fetching choice of colors, is $13 everywhere else, including the Minimergency people's own website.

What a worried society we've become. My mom's preparedness advice was "Take a sweater." In Spring or Fall, she'd issue umbrella reminders. She would have been horrified that people actually had clothes that could come apart unexpectedly, or that a nice girl would leave the house without checking herself. Except, of course, in case of emergency.

What emergencies is your purse prepared for?