Showing posts with label copywriter from space. Show all posts
Showing posts with label copywriter from space. Show all posts

the copywriter from space answers the phone - not the mountain I'm gonna die on

And so it has come to pass that Himself and I are invited to a confirmation and related festivities.

With me, it's generally not so much "what shall I wear?" as "what fits this week?"

Fortunately, a pale sage green outfit - silk satin skirt and lightweight silk velvet jacket - was excavated and fits!

However, the little satin tank that went under the jacket has vanished.
Hello, I'm looking at the stacked sequin shell, number c1929, and I have a couple of questions.
blurry small picture
from JC website
Go ahead.

OK, first, the description just says the fabric is "cotton." Can you verify if it's 100% cotton, or if there's anything else in there?

Well, if it says cotton, it means cotton.

I don't mean to be a pest, but the reason I'm asking is that hasn't always been my experience, so I'd thought I'd just check.

We welcome all of your questions, we're here to help.
larger picture from JC website
not so blurry but
color values are confused
So the fabric is 100% cotton?

It's cotton. Did you have any other questions?

Yes, is the fabric a knit or a woven? The description doesn't say.

It's a very fine fabric.

Is the fabric a knit or a woven? 

Oh, if it was one of those, they would tell you.

Um, but they haven't, so that's why I called, to find out about the fabric.

It's cotton.

OK, last question, the color, I need some help here. The color that I think might work with my skirt is "pewter, mint, burgundy." I'm guessing that the darkest sequins are burgundy, but is the mint the color of the other sequins or are they pewter? Or is one the color of the shirt?

Have you looked at it in one of our stores?

I called the store closest to me and they said they didn't have it.
blow-up showing sequins
we seem to have pink, dark red and ?
color of fabric - mint or pewter?

We can check other stores for you tomorrow morning and someone will context you within 48 hours.

Let me think about it. Thank you.

Well, thank you for calling J.Crew.
Later that evening - placed web order with no conversation with anybody. Noone.







The thundering herd - a well-loved, loved, loved jacket and its back–up

Herd? of buffalo, natch!

This jacket became such a favorite that at the tail end of the season I bought a second one in case of a buffalo emergency. Fortunately there's no buffalo shortage this year, and I'm equipped for whatever the winter may bring. And next winter, and the one after that.
my jacket (twin is still in closet)
demonstration of absence of buffalo shortage
When I looked back to find a catalog shot of my jacket(s), I had a few twinges of nostalgia for the early efforts of the Copywriter From Space and her beloved colleague the Blindfolded Stylist. And of course for the once-omnipresent word "effortless".

As the owner of this jacket (twice), I can assure you that the thick wool outer layer and nylon plush (not Sherpa) lining do not lend themselves to a thin belt, as shown in one of the catalog pics, replicated below.

Nor is the jacket's adorable collar a "standing" collar. Not even close. It was, and continues to be, just like the collar on a J.Crew boy shirt, only of course thicker.

The sizing was way off, too, and the first time I tried one, it was grossly boxy. A few weeks later, the light dawned, and I stopped in the store again and tried on a succession of smaller ones until I fell in love. Yeah, I'm easy.
not boxy in correct size:
note slight indentation at waist
I still love this jacket, still wear it a lot, have never even tried to subdue it with a skinny belt - and I'm putting it on in a few minutes to take it out shopping.

jacket wrestling to break free of skinny belt.
Go, jacket!
I was surprised to be reminded that my jacket appeared in 2010. I hope that means that love of buffalo checks will be around for a lot longer. And guess what. It hasn't pilled yet!

Do you have a beloved buffalo check item or two? or are you still playing the field?

Someone please teach these people a little English. Just a little...

I can forgive sentence fragments if used to hint that the rest of the sentence is unprintable or that the logical conclusion of the thought is unspeakable. My pet peeve - well, the list of my pet peeves is long enough to be a peeve menagerie. Today I'm irked by the misuse of a common English expression. I copied this right out of my Inbox, which is why it's a little blurry. I meant to apologize, but, on second thought, blurry strikes me as appropriate.


Oh, dear. To beg the question does NOT mean to raise the question.

A few brave souls maintain a Web site dedicated to stamping out this abuse of the term. I direct your attention to www.begthequestion.info.

Here, taken from begthequestion.info, is a definition of the term:
"Begging the question" is a form of logical fallacy in which a statement or claim is assumed to be true without evidence other than the statement or claim itself. When one begs the question, the initial assumption of a statement is treated as already proven without any logic to show why the statement is true in the first place.
The site also tells us what "begging the question" doesn't mean, which for most of us ordinary mortals is probably a bit more helpful than the above definition. Examples are provided.

Finally, the site provides cards that explain the correct meaning, which you may print out and hand to strangers if you hear them misusing the expression. These people are serious!


If passing out cards to strangers doesn't appeal, you may buy the t-shirt.

Oh, if only we had a mailing address for the Copywriter from Space!



Muffy explains it all. Thank you, Muffy. Have some W's.

Do you know Muffy Aldrich? Oh, she is wicked and witty and wise and wonderful. Dorothy Parker is supposed to have moaned that every time she had a witty thought, she'd find that Oscar Wilde had already said it. I often feel that way about Muffy's ineffable blog, The Daily Prep , and today I recognized that feeling in connection with the post to which that link will bring you. Muffy has translated contemporary retail-speak into English, and many of us will bless her for it or at least chuckle.
Here are some examples:

Inspired by MaineMade in China.
Inspired by fall in MaineInspired by our year-end bonuses.
Inspired by New EnglandWe stole the design from Walmart, slapped lighthouses on it, named it after a New England town, and tripled the price. You're welcome.
Inspired by our archivesBut obviously, if we just copied our archives, we wouldn't be able to make our now customary 5X markup and our CEO would not be happy. 
And here Muffy translates the Copywriter from Space:
Preppy with a twistFor people who want to pretend they don't dress the same as everyone else.
Preppy coolUrban fashion train wreck, with just a hint of tartan.  
Classic with a twistThe twist is, it's not classic at all. Save it for Halloween, 2017.  You'll thank us later.
Muffy is a great believer in moderation and in avoiding the infra dig, and so I think that's why she didn't stoop to translate OBSESSED and EFFORTLESS

I, of course, am shameless, and my view of the CFS' use of effortless is that she just doesn't know what it means. I think she's going for studied, but that's because in our house effortless attire means a bathrobe and a hairclip, accompanied by cries of "Can you get that? I can't find my glasses." Studied, naturally, means I remembered to check for fallen hems and stuck zippers.

I have different feelings about being an obsessed shopper, because to me shopping is a form of research and I am dogged. Dogged, I tell you. Whether research (in other areas) is really shopping by another name is, of course, a question of ethics, and I leave that to those more gainfully employed than I. 

But once you've been properly fitted for a bra and appear 2 inches taller and 3 inches slimmer, once you've found the shade of taupe that makes your eyes look green not muddy, once you've identified the shoe that inconspicuously takes you through the day without causing wincing -  you might allow yourself a little perseverance, too.  Of course giving way to these and other obsessions is enabled by living in the midst of stores in an apartment equipped with wireless. In the days when retail websites were primitive, I once called a manufacturer (California) to find out if a particular reversible jacket of theirs - double faced cashmere - was sold anywhere in New York City or on Long Island. They kindly gave me a few names, one was a small boutique not far from me. I called and got this: "What's it your business what I sell and when I'm open?" Yes, I learned in a tough school. 

Here is where I point out that there's one more element to the equation of obsessed + ______ = effortless. The missing ingredient is Fate.  The silk blouse that perfectly matches the wool skirt must have come back from the cleaners. The pants that felt a little tight last week must be fine now after 3 days of rabbit food. The sweater must not have decided to grow pills overnight. And with the stars in alignment, one goes to the closet, pulls out a few things with eyes closed…

How do you define effortless? What are your obsessions? And of course, what are your favorite Inbox Translations? Not to mention Fate….

And of course, thank you, Muffy.

hero of the day

I am always moved by gallant risk-taking. Today's hero is Mark Takano, a former high-school English teacher who was elected to Congress from the 41st Congressional District of California. Recently a copy of a memorandum produced by a coven of other Congresspersons was circulated to him.

Representative Takano reacted as any gallant high-school English teacher would. Or perhaps it was just a coincidence that at a red pen was close at hand.
I hope that my negligible computer skills have left the thing that enlarges the picture in place, for your ease of reading. If you can't read it, let me know and I'll try something else.

In closing, I note that a lesser man than Rep. Takano could have had a lot more fun with this.  I for one am considering signing him up for clothing catalogues.

love means never having to say you're sorry, even in outer space

I understand only one thing about cultural phenomena: I don't understand them.
After I saw the movie Love Story, I got the book from the library.
Not only that, I read it. It's famous in literary circles as kitsch, it's famous in some circles as the first time the word preppy appeared in print, it's famous in other circles as a precursor to chick-lit although the author was male. The names of buildings and streets were spelled correctly. But the implicit characterization of the schools with which I was familiar (full disclosure: I did not attend the schools named in the story, but friends and bygone romances did, so I visited)  didn't ring true. The schools I knew were populated by people who somehow found time to attend the classes, read the readings, write the papers, think the thinking. Their wardrobes were afterthoughts. Their haircuts were either automatic or afterthoughts, depending on era. Frankly, I always thought the best way to dress was to look as if you had better things on your mind but were raised by people who drummed "clean and neat," "it's still good," "quality will always tell," and "where did you say you were going, dear?" into your infant brain. Here the focus was on Luuuuurrrrv and cute clothes. The clothes looked like they tried. Wrong.

I watched the movie with some friends, who were astounded by the clothing. In fairness: Ali MacGraw's outfits fit her perfectly, showed no cleavage (butt or upper), were appropriate to the scene that was taking place, and yet drew gasps of admiration. That this should be unusual and admirable is a sad state of affairs, but the movie is meant to make you sad, so... on some level it works.
(coff, coff)
Spoiler alert: the plot ranges from the implausible to the insipid. 
At the end, Ali McGraw dies from Nonspecific But Inevitably Fatal Movie Disease. 
She is said to grow pallid and weak, but this is stated, not shown. 
Love Story is part of a genre of movies where a girl who tries to speak plainly, 
move up in life, and think for herself, meets a bad end, 
although it's not as dramatic as Looking for Mr. Goodbar. 
The boy who was born to succeed, succeeds. The girl who strives, dies. Sniff, sniff.
well-behaved horse behaving well
frightening to equine population
So what was the way of life that the Boy rejected because he wanted to reach for individuality, independence, and True Love? Not for me to define . But let's look at one teeny facet of "Prepdom as it is shown in films and literature."

Recently an ill-considered e-mail ventured into my Inbox, into several inboxes, in fact. The author, clearly an intergalactic tourist, suggested that the Girl in the movie might have considered these boots to be riding boots. Actually, I don't think the Girl rode. If she did, even if she didn't know better, someone else would have prevented her from getting on a horse in those boots. Riding boots have to have a defined heel, but it should be no higher than 1½ inches, and it should be broad, not pointy. Otherwise, you will hurt the horse. Havoc will occur in the region of the stirrups. Preppies may be dangerous to women in movies,  but they are kind to animals across the board.  And tassels on shoes were not generally accepted on the East Coast at the time of the movie, although I understand that many nice people wear them now. I don't know about tassels on boots in general, but for riding, you don't want anything on your feet/legs that could interfere with the stirrups or tickle the horse at an inopportune moment.
I wish to give Jennifer Cavilleri (Ali MacGraw's character) the benefit of the doubt, because, after all, she died, she was made to wear teeny skirts out of doors on snowy days, and she was said to be smart, and she died, so if she were a real person and learned that she had to get on a horse, she would have found one of the many books about what to wear on a horse that were available in one of the libraries with which Boston and Cambridge teem, and then she would have found a kindly suite-mate from whom to borrow boots, pants and shirt.

Accordingly, I have concluded that these awkward emails are the product of a mind that is studying Planet Earth, but has not yet learned to distinguish the human species from the equine. Or tee-shirts from T-paper (both disposable, no?)


Dorothy Parker was asked to identify her favorite of the four sisters in Little Women, which is a story about how four girls with no visible means of support are deserted by their neer-do-well father, who is kind of a Civil War hippie-chaplain. The girls and their dear mother spend a lot of time hoping he will come home and worrying if he will be proud of them. Meanwhile, they do menial jobs, scrounge for food, mend clothing, and suck up to wealthy friends and relatives. Parker's favorite sister: "Beth, because she died."

I would love to have heard what Dorothy Parker would have said of Love Story.  And as for her opinions on the Copywriter From Space:
she might have said this

summer at last: twinsets, Paddington Bear and the end of the world - plus Friday morning update

you dress up for Armageddon
I dress up for the summer 
There's something wonderful about summer days that start smooth and end comfortable.
My sister and I used to joke that if one of us said "Mom, I've been invited to the end of the world," she'd say "Wait, I have just the thing!" And sure enough, she'd reach into her endless wardrobe and remove some item we'd never seen her wear but which was indeed perfect for the occasion, albeit possibly a bit dated.
What would you wear to the end of the world?
Me, I'd wear pretty much what I like to wear on the cool summer morning of a weekend day that's going to heat up: a cotton tee, old jeans, wedge sandals, a favorite ring or two...

or so I thought until a little over 10 years ago, when I had to get out of one country, into another and onto a plane in a horrible hurry, when it became very clear that not only do desperate times call for desperate measures, they also call for respectable outfits. In the best of times, airports bring out the worst in people, in bad times, you need all the help you can get.


So I'm always on the look-out for "end of the world" clothes, which, if the world doesn't end, can at least be worn for travel.
Hence the preponderance of nice twinsets (Missoni, Tse) and tailored slacks in my suitcase, and the absence of visible logos.

You can see how flexible a twinset is, especially if it's reliably constructed.

I have them in cotton, in cashmere, in merino, and in the strange "mélange" that only Missoni can use itchless-ly.


I was cheered to see these cashmeres this morning, smiling at me from my computer screen, at least until I saw the prices. I can in fact find Missoni cashmere for those prices, on sale, but still... I added these to the "stalking" list, and continued diligently clicking along.





Even if I were Paddington Bear, or his girlfriend, I don't think I'd want an unwearable duffle coat.
 It's unwearable because of the short sleeves. Who thinks these things UP? Really, if you have jewelry to show off - what are called "state occasion pieces" in my house - would you be wearing it with a duffle coat? This creation will not be added to the "stalking" list.


And finally, it wouldn't be a computer-browsing morning without a message from the Copywriter from Space:


So is it "nylon twill" or is it "poly"?


 I think a well-cut trench coat would be perfect for many occasions, and if the world should end while you're
 wearing it, well, at least you haven't wasted a Burberry. On the other hand, poly? When everyone else is wearing wings and a halo? C'mon. It could be raining at the end of the world, I know it's often rained when I've been travelling, but I'm not even going to go look at this in person until I know that someone cared enough about its construction to find out what it's made of. Besides me, I mean.

UPDATE, FRIDAY MORNING: it pays to clean out the Inbox! Look what Bergdorf's has:
Striped Sweater: 
Dip-dye details add artistic imprecision to smart colorblocking on this mod-inspired Carven sweater.
  • Multicolor stripes with white dip-dye detail on hem and left sleeve.
  • Round neckline.
  • Long sleeves with ribbed cuffs.
  • Ribbed hem; pullover style.
  • Superkid mohair/polyamide/wool.
  • Made in France.

I'm not going to discuss prices. Either the economy will catch up with the prices by the time it's cool enough for these delicious sweaters, or the prices will fall to catch up (down?) with the economy.

the Copywriter From Space is caught moonlighting

Perching on a barstool is a good way to test the construction of womens' ready-to-wear, and if stores were truly considerate of their customers, there would be barstools in dressing rooms. Since there are not, one has to approximate the stresses on pants, the pull on skirts, the strain on zippers getting on and off, and hope for the best, namely, that if you are in a bar and there is a wardrobe malfunction, it won't happen till the last drop has been drained. That way, if the malfunction is serious enough that you have to leave, you may regret the money you spent on the stupid pants but you won't leave any beer behind. I felt like bar-testing a pair of cream-colored jeans (Lauren Ralph Lauren), with which I was wearing a tee promoting the elements as once understood by the ancients and by alchemists. This is the tee:  note French words spelled correctly. You can find it at Urban Outfitters.
And so, purely in the interests of science, on my way out to Flintstone Manor last week, I popped in to a favorite barbecue-pit-and-bar, hoisted self up on a stool, and was glad no relatives were present to witness the warm greeting I got from the bartender. She is in fact a woman in her early forties whose children want to be famous, and we often commiserate on the troubles of dealing with people who can't sit still while Grandpa reminisces about watching Sergeant Bilko on black-and-white TV.




She drew me a cold one, and handed it to me with a beer mat (above). Yes, that is a real live beer mat. I enlarged it with the magic of iPhoto so that I wouldn't have to retype the deathless prose,  which I think is a good idea because who would believe I had made a letter-for- letter copy? I wouldn't have believed this had I not held the thing in my very hand. Anyway, the text makes no sense whatsoever, but because the writer seemed so earnest, and seemed to be taking an interest in beer - a worthy endeavor - I wondered whether the text might read more sensibly after I'd lowered a few. I took my time, wanting to maintain some coherence when the MEANING OF LIFE, I MEAN OF BEER MATS, occurred to me. Finally, something did: the text in fact made no sense. I felt better because I wasn't missing anything, but worse because it is criminal that in today's economy someone should be paid for perpetrating that prose. Unless, of course, it was written by someone sentenced to perform community service... for a micro-brewery?  Probably not. Perhaps it was the alchemical tee, but the first to come to mind was my old friend Farley, who was once forced to swear that he would no longer put pen to paper within 36 hours of testing the products of his personal medicinal herb garden. However, the beer mat read like the interests of the writer were first money and only then beer.  This is not the order of Farley's priorities. I needed to look further afield.
A friend (who cooks) once said that the first requirement of a waiter is that he/she be someone who hates food. Similarly, a certain class of writer is to the English language what Muriel Spark defined as a "pisseur de copie." The person that Dame Muriel so pungently described had no idea how the literate reacted to his productions. A dim picture of someone who's proud of awful puns and has little acquaintance with the notion of accuracy began to form.


Recognize her? Yes, she's the Copywriter From Space!

If you follow my adventures in merchandising, you might remember that I'm regularly puzzled by the fact that the Copywriter From Space seems to have permanent employment, even though she has only the briefest "nodding" acquaintance with the structure and vocabulary of the English language. I think I may have discovered the secret to her longevity: she "works cheap," as a former colleague once said of a sadly dyslexic file clerk. So cheaply does she work, it seems, that she needs to supplement her day job by free-lancing. The beer mat is one example; another is the action figure for which she posed (above). I bet every intern at J.Crew will be given one of these, along with left-over 2012 datebooks, at the end of the summer.


"The government will fall that raises the price of beer." I was going to lead off with this Czech saying (many Czech sayings have something to do with beer), to counter the abusive use of the name Kafka, he having lived in Prague where one can find some very good beer and some very good writing. However, I don't want to get an entire country of nice people mad at me for bracketing them with the Copywriter From Space, so that's why the saying is down here. At the end.

Best foot forward for Spring with Myopic Photoshop Guy




All is unquiet in the hallowed halls of J.Crew. That stumbling block on the path to world domination, Myopic Photoshop Guy, has struck again. I was trolling some favorite websites when the iPad went to the J.Crew website all by itself. It wanted to tell me to look at the Collection shoes. Most of them are for people but some are for paper dolls. See pictures.



Well. Just the thing for Spring - placeholders. Snakeskin my foot. Oops, I meant - well, my foot.

ET, call home: copywriting as a second language

I had hoped that this fall I would be able to make myself stop looking at catalogs and web sites, and concentrate on bringing about world peace so I could enter beauty pageants. Or maybe work with a small team of like-minded individuals to create an anti-pageant where the descriptions, the patter, the biographies and the talents have no relation to what the participants look like or are doing during the narration. But, you know, some things are just too tempting to let pass. So, back to fashion. 


The Copywriter From Space has been in orbit too long. For sheer goofiness,  the description of the Sally dress, no. 48695 on the J.Crew website, is a prizewinner, or at least a contender. The Sally dress is a nice-looking wool dress, simple top, pleated skirt, probably too short for me but feeling tall and lissome at 5'4 is not necessarily unwelcome. 


Here are the dress and the copy:


Structured yet swingy, this properly pleated wool shift is styled with a demure high neckline and a feminine nipped-in waist and comes in day-to-night black. A classic statement with pearls and a great pair of heels. Sleeveless. Back zip. Straight skirt with pleats. Seam at waist. Fully lined. Falls to knee. Part of J.Crew Collection. Import. Dry clean


Right. First, a shift falls from the shoulder 
and has neither nipped-in waist nor pleats.
A "straight skirt" is now called a pencil skirt.
However in the 50's a pencil skirt was called a straight skirt.
In neither incarnation would it have pleats.
A pleated skirt has pleats.
(So does a kilt, but the thought of Copywriter From Space 
being trampled by a bunch of outraged Gaels, 
while it appeals, doesn't belong here. Another time.)
And finally, to whose knees does the dress fall?
Not the model's.
This is why I think the Copywriter From Space does not 
have a human body, but is rather some kind of alien
creature. With a tote bag and a thesaurus.
But no background in fashion.

The Trench Dress, discussed in the previous post, is not yet on the web site, and now we know why. It is beyond the descriptive powers of a creature from another galaxy. But you should look at that dress because, sadly, it's a great idea that just misses. You can describe it to yourself.

in an effort to be generous of spirit Fred hires a publicist

We live surrounded by hints, lists, orders, directives - no, fiats - for improvement. Entire professions and fields of industry labor under the delusion that Somewhere in the universe there is a better-looking, calmer, more compassionate, fitter Me. Better Me has clear eyes, each endowed with long and curly lashes; a fine and even complexion with no visible pores; whiter teeth (but not Chiclets); good posture; shiny hair that bounces when Better Me rushes to the store on an errand for her grouchy elderly neighbor. Better Me always finds kind things to say about everything without sounding sappy, and can change the subject at awkward moments without being obvious (no, we're not really married, I just live there because there's room for the three of us, him, me and that and is it true you're being audited by a whole team of Special Agents? Yes, they're required to tell you. Um, seven years back, longer if they smell fraud....) Better Me never forgets a birthday but always knows when not to draw attention to it. Neither of us commits diabolical puns. Well, hardly ever.

Readers and friends know that most of the time I'm able to keep Better Me under control, the better to see the world through jaundice-colored specs. Did I mention that Better Me is prompt, keeps her shopping under control and returns library books when due? You can see why having someone like this around all the time gets old fast.

I had a visit from Better Me and her list-of-areas-yet-to-be-improved yesterday. Quite innocently a lovely reader drew my attention to an anatomical gaffe of truly grotesque proportions on the J.Crew website. I could feel my fangs growing and my palms twitching as I read and reread the item in question. Better Me, a master of the b%*%ier martial arts, tied my hands together with a simple black silk sash (Elie Tahari) and stuffed a cotton scarf (Epice) in my gaping mouth. I am happy to report that I am again at large, with working laptop.

NOT THE ANKLE 
NOT AN ANKLE-LENGTH SKIRT
Ready? Open another tab in your browser and go to the J.Crew website, item no. 49667, called a knife-pleat wrap skirt in silk taffeta. Read the detailed description. OK, let's go. First the fashion lesson, then the anatomy lesson. This is not a knife-pleat skirt. This is a skirt with pleats that are stitched down and released at or near the hip line. Knife pleats are pleats with a sharp edge (on each of them) all the way down. Speaking of all the way down, I think the skirt must be made of silk taffeta plus invisible fairy princess magic lacey fabric from the knee to the ankle, because even though the description claims that the skirt is ankle length, to my eyes it stops somewhere north of the shinbone. The only way this could be ankle-length is if the wearer spent her days on her knees in penance. Obviously the Copywriter From Space was at the outer limit of her orbit when she phoned this one in. It is she who should be doing penance. Should not catalog copy be written by one who has at least glanced at the item to be described?
THE ANKLES

Better Me thinks I should say something nice. Ooh, guess what? no ghastly puns. Now about that ankle/knee business. The knee is the bendy thing between the thigh and the shin/calf assembly. Its Latin name is Patella. The ankle is a complex of bony things, tendons and fasteners, collectively referred to as the Talus. Is this difficult?

Because I don't want this blog to focus solely on the Copywriter From Space and her employers, I'll ease up a little. I have a new project. I am writing an opera (or perhaps an operetta, don't know how serious the music will be) about the fashion business, as shown through a close look at catalog vending, a merry romp through a retail store, and some distant glimpses of off-shore manufacturing.

Although I have yet to commit one note to paper, nor to make one more of the improvements on Better Me's list, I've done what those I watch in the fashion business do when improvement is required. I've retained a publicist, to whom I now turn over the rest of this space:
MERCH ARRIVES FROM OFFSHORE
World-famous (on her blog) wit, poet and observer of things past, contemporary and yet to be, wellfedfred has tackled that greatest of art forms: the opera. With her usual economy of style and spirit, she has decided not to waste precious pre-production time and money in learning to write music and compose. Rather the score will be shamelessly knocked off  inspired by the works of Rossini, Gilbert & Sullivan, Verdi, Friml, Beethoven and Mascagni, and others. The artist was once thought to have abandoned opera in favor of her unique versification style after an early work, The Diet, caused spectators to faint from hunger. Now, with From Merchant Prince To Pirate King (working title), cognoscenti expect that the rich potential of what was once a major American industry, when brought to the stage, will make a bundle for ole fred prove entertaining, enlightening and ultimately satisfying. We look forward to humming Don't Cry for Me, FashionistaThree Little Chicks from F.I.T., and I Am the Very Model of a Modern Prince of Merchandise.  Casting for female roles - She Who Must Be Adored (soprano), The Copywriter from Space (mezzo) and a crew of Acolytes, Sycophants and Trust Fund Babes (supernumeraries) - is taking place now. Audition dates for male roles will be posted later in the usual places.

beamed from outer space into my inbox

As if hurricane, winds, tornado warnings (yes, warning not watch), high waves and tidally augmented floods weren't enough, look what the Copywriter From Space just beamed into my Inbox. Congrats, young miss, you've made not one but two terrible awful puns. The first is obvious, the second, I explicate: you're not all atwitter, you're a twit. But you did spell the French right. I'm nothing if not fair. Now I will go lie down.

Picturing ET landing on a crop circle, dressed in tweed shortsies to protest JC's UK website prices.

your parents may have warned you that your degree was impractical...

Here is an example of what a perspicacious and hardworking Art History major can accomplish even if her parents refused to buy a gallery because they'd rather feed and clothe their other children. Oh, go ahead, click that link, you know you want to.
LINK:


Look at the fun she's having while those of us who believed the hype that a knowledge of many languages would open many doors (maybe if you're a trilingual doorman) are reduced to correcting the spelling on cheesy t-shirts and smarming at  maitre d's....


and those who opted for Medieval Studies are trying to illuminate and gild the bar menus for Ye Olde Goode Times while not  having to wear a wench outfit - yes, I periodically hear from a poetically minded friend who keeps body and soul together by selling her (academic) soul and explaining that the lap dance was unknown before the Renaissance, at just such a place. We might hear more from her later on, she generally gets in touch around Christmas. Plenty of part-time gigs for a qualified medievalist in New York City in the winter....

And Communications does not always lead upwards, unless by upwards we mean Outer Space.
Yes, the Copywriter from Space, with her guaranteed lifetime sinecure on the J.Crew website, has struck again!
The text below describes the Nili Lotan cashmere sweater as a "cropped silhouette" which "hits at hip." I see it "hitting" at what would most likely be "above the hip" on me,  but who am I to fuss about such minor details? After all, if I don't consider my hip situation minor, who will?  What I really don't get is why the word "streamlined" repeatedly crops up with reference to Nili. After the wrinkly caftan which I was told was supposed to look like that, the droopy drawers which are again  with us in an autumn iteration, and the floppy sweaters, I'm losing track of where the streamlining is. Somewhere in production, perhaps? Don't think I'd rely on J.Crew's sources to produce a "special open-stitch weave" that would last more than one wear. Oh, and yarns are spun, not sweaters, which are knitted or crocheted, not woven? A close look (zoom, zoom) shows that this sweater is in fact knitted. And I think it may have been hiked forward for the front view, downward for the back view. Somewhere in-between may be a hip. 
Our women's design team fell in love with the streamlined silhouettes from this much-buzzed-about Israeli-born designer. Like all her creations, this sweater was carefully crafted in the designer's intimate New York atelier. Spun from the most luxurious cashmere, it features a special open-stitch weave and so-right-now cropped silhouette. In a 7-gauge knit. Crewneck
If you are discontented with your days, and have access to a computer, it really is never to late to consider a career change. So it might take 2 or 3 years, or a lot longer, if the project has to includes earning the money for childcare (or food and rent) while you do it. But at the end of that time, you'll be where you want to be, or almost. Whereas if  you don't get started, in 2 or 3 years or whatever, you'll just be that much older.
PLUS WHICH, IF YOU GO BACK TO SCHOOL, YOU GET A STUDENT I.D. CARD, NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE, AND THAT CAN GET YOU STUDENT DISCOUNTS!

another copycat in the Inbox



Michael Kors once had a distinctive look. This morning's email from the folks at Kors, and its links, suggest that the distinction may now emanate from J.Crew. Oh, well, at least they aren't borrowing from the boys. Yet. The Copywriter from Space may have more interplanetary cousins in search of paychecks. These days, who doesn't?

I am sooooo ready for fall clothes, for that first cool morning in August that makes me want to buy notebook paper and yellow pencils no matter how my age continues to advance.