more evidence that the Monty Python show was really a documentary series

UPDATE, UPDATE - THIS STORY HAS A HAPPY ENDING!

It's been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This pithy remark has been attributed to everyone from Bismarck to Albert Einstein to Marilyn Monroe. I can only suggest that it must have been said by someone who knows me very well, BECAUSE I NEVER LEARN.

This all has to do with a sudden desire to appear svelte and graceful by means of a particular ankle-length skirt offered by Anthropologie. The skirt, however, does not seem to reciprocate my feelings, and has taken great pains to avoid me.

Our first match-up didn't go well. Anthro's web site had it listed as "web only." This is Anthro-speak for "We hate you and want to torture you, so to get this skirt you will have to deal with LaserShip."


Did you know there are whole blogs/websites dedicated to letting people vent their feelings about LaserShip? Yep, there are, and on none of them does anyone have any kind feelings for Lasership.

This reminds me of the time I left a job in a hellhole, and the first call I got at my new direct number was from another former employee of the hellhole, inviting me for a congratulory drink. OK. It turned out to be a gathering of more than 20 survivors of Lucifer Beelzebub Baalam & Bile LLP. I attended the irregular meetings, happily joining in the ill-wishing of various named individuals, until I learned that my ex-boss had left the firm, relocated out west, was required to take a local exam and was carried out of the exam site, shaking and gibbering, on a stretcher. Wow, it doesn't get much better than this. After that I concluded that my presence at the gatherings was no longer needed. Naturally I don't believe in curses and witchcraft and the like, but if a whimsical spirit wants to throw me a boon...

So, anyway, the first time I ordered the skirt and dealt with LaserShip and Anthro's gormless customer service, was mentioned here. The skirt did finally arrive via Pennsylvania, Northern New Jersey, New York City, Queens, back to New Jersey (via New York City), and then finally on a truck that was allowed to stop in New York City. The attentive reader will note that even then, I had already had a disheartening encounter with LaserShip and UO (an Anthro company) and the Jersey Swamp Tour, and I DIDN'T LEARN FROM THIS. Whatever. The skirt was a thing of beauty, and the size I had ordered  was large enough for two of me. I sighed and returned it.

Then Anthro Day arrived, 15% off everything. I ordered the skirt again, in a smaller size. It seemed to be selling faster, no doubt due to the unusual discount, which had the effect of covering the shipping and sales tax. It was again shipped via LaserShip, same repeated postponements of estimated delivery dates, same claims of unfindability, same incomprehensible "explanations".... And then a PACKAGE ARRIVED! Once again, my skirt had been bundled into a small plastic bag. Oops, not my skirt, but a pair of rayon mom jeans that would only fit a small frumpy hobbit on a budget.

The first person I spoke to at Anthro that day simply could not understand why I wanted to return jeans when I had ordered a skirt. I hung up. Times like these make me wish I hadn't stopped smoking.  I called back, and the next person was so helpful and sympathetic that part of me wanted to hug him, and part of me why he seemed to have had a lot of practice in dealing with "mispacks." Unfortunately by the time he was able to understand my frantic babble, the size I had wanted sold out. Anyway, my refund was processed, a note was made on the order that whatever had been sent was not what had been ordered and the "mispacked" item would be found in the returned package, and all was well.

Not five minutes later, I realized that I really really really wanted that skirt. I took one last look at the website, meaning only to tell it goodbye and find closure, and - it had popped back.

Yes, I did. By this time I had Anthro on speed-dial. The nice lady controlled her amusement, said she understood perfectly, honored the Anthro Day price and waived shipping. Email confirmations followed. Many, many email confirmations followed.

I am advised that the skirt has shipped and is on a truck to be delivered. Huh.

UPDATE! The skirt arrived, again packed by demented amateurs, and it fits perfectly. All relevant credits have appeared on my card.

Why do I feel that somehow I will pay for this?

26 comments:

  1. I had a similar experience with a pair of chairs that featured a bookmatched pattern. As you can imagine, two of the same chair arrived and securing the correct complimentary chair was a merry-go-round of hair-pulling and tears. I finally swapped my original two for a proper pair from a local Anthro. I was told I'd have to pay for the delivery of said chairs to my home. By then, they'd beaten me down and I acquiesced.

    So, Sister, I feel your pain.

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    1. I thought long and hard and have decided not to inflict my furniture and rug stories on you. You are too nice.

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    2. *pours a vodka tonic and settles in*

      Oh, DO TELL.

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    3. ya know what? the skirt arrived and it fits, so I'm not gonna push my luck. I will say that there are reasons that Stark Carpet was having all those going-out-of-business sales.

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  2. You have got to go through a personal shopper with Anthro. Lie, tell them it's for a special occasion. You'll get express or 2day shipping free. Also free returns and free express or 2day ship for exchanges. I only do it once a year so as not to abuse, but I order a buttload of stuff. They'll even style it for you eight different ways. I did order a pair of pants from Anthro a few years back. They sent leggings two sizes too small. I couldn't get those puppies over my knees. Called, told them I didn't appreciate them trying to shame me to lose weight...free return, free overnight shipping for what I actually ordered.

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    1. I think the problem lies not with Anthro's CS, which is no worse than many others, but with Anthro's choice of grrrr! arrgh! Lasership, and with an absent-minded packing crew. The last person I spoke to at Anthro promised that the latest order would get "hand packing." She thought that would help. I am hoping that the packer will have washed his hands first.

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  3. WFF,
    I hope you haven't given up drinking because you may need a martini near by when you open the next box. "Small frumpy hobbit in mom jeans " is my new favorite phrase.
    I will cross my fingers for you that the since the first skirt was large enough for 2 of you, that the next (when it arrives : )) is not small enough for half of you. That is always my fortune.
    And, Fred. I thought you knew never to speak of those powers out loud.
    PS- LOVE the pictures.

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  4. I have never heard of this lasership. It sounds very Orwellian! I got a lousy dress in the mail from J Crew (which was offset by sandals that were nice but which I probably won't get to wear until October...) You hang in there. My favourite easter song is the Python's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"!

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    1. You just reminded me of the time I was crossing England by train, and at one stop a group of 5 men in assorted flat caps were trying to get a wheelchair-bound invalid on board, turning the poor guy and his chair this way and that, grunting, muttering... I was convinced that the Pythons were filming a comeback episode. Was v embarrassed when train started, and it turned out that the guy was just another passenger. Also glad I didn't ask the tall fellow for his autograph.

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  5. Good grief, what a mess! Good thing they waived the shipping, that is the very least they could do. "Lasership" sounds like something out of a cheesy science fiction movie. I have never ordered anything from Anthropologie, and after hearing your story, I think it will stay that way. I hope the skirt arrives as promised!!

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    1. I'm not sure, but I think Lasership is supposed to handle local or regional deliveries. I would check their website but I'm afraid it may crash the computer. Anyway, you may get a real delivery service in Canada.

      Agree, it is not well-named.

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  6. I hate Lasership!! I ordered something from Anthro last year that used them and after an attempted delivery (which they couldn't do because I live in a secure building), my package mysteriously disappeared. Dealing with their customer service and Anthro was so annoying I vowed to never order anything from Anthro online again. The item I wanted ended up in the stores so I didn't even deal with a re-order.

    In February I ordered an item in store because my size wasn't available and I was filled with dread when I saw my order/shipping details that said it was going to be delivered via Lasership. They attempted delivery but couldn't because I wasn't home and after spending at least 20 minutes on hold just to get a customer service rep, I told them I would just come and pick it up from their distribution center. The 30 minute drive was annoying but I got my package this time without any major headaches. I so wish I could pick the shipping method but since I can't, I rarely shop online with Anthro. I seriously cannot believe that Lasership is still in business. I am amazed at the sheer amount of terrible reviews this company has and that any major business like Urban Outfitters/Anthro would willingly choose to do business with them.

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    1. Agreed, not worth it. I must force myself to remember that there's a large Anthro store across the street from the office where I get my allergy shots. I can do this. I can't take the tension and suspense of Lasership.

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  7. I thought Lasership was a messenger-style company because that's what Barnes and Noble uses when they do same-day deliveries in Manhattan (I should say they did because in the last two years no matter what the cart says - SAME DAY in MANHATTAN - it invariably goes to UPS. I think it's false advertising, honestly).
    My only ordering online experience with Anthropology was really bad. I placed an order for a pajama pant in Petite because my (our) store doesn't carry petites. After half an hour on the phone the order goes through and in the confirmation email I see that the size ordered is a regular XS (that I could have bought in store). I call again. Another 20 minutes wait and when I finally I get a SA on the phone she says that it is a glitch in the ordering system but that I will definitively receive a petite. I even ask her to put a manual note for the guys fulfilling the order. After what seems an eternity I receive my package and guess what size is inside? At that point I just go to Rock Center and but the damn petite (at least in the meanwhile it had gone on promo)...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. B&N is really contracting, the "same day service" simply doesn't happen and its nicer NYC stores have closed.

      Anthro can't get its technology to connect to its operational staff - my skirt was supposed to be "hand-packed" and it arrived in a plastic sandwich bag. Fortunately the wrinkles have hung out. I wouldn't have survived another return/reorder.

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  8. So funny - I get into these things with something I see on the internet too, though I usually prowl for ages and head about into the wilderness though of course you cant do that with just the net things - why do they tempt and taunt like that.
    Can see you striding through the jungles of NY in that skirt though - it's awesome in every way

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    1. hi, Jody, I'm planning to wear it on an upcoming trip to New Orleans - it's definitely a warm weather party skirt.

      So now the obsession is finding it a black top for it - boat neck, 3/4 sleeves, cotton jersey. I thought this would be simple.

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  9. Why am I seeing JCleese doing a silly walk in that skirt? No, it's a lovely skirt; you could look for an A'Nue Ligne shirt which come with 3/4 sleeves and various necklines; not cotton but very sturdy for travel.

    I can't understand why anthro would tolerate such a poor service.

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    1. Oooh, yes, there's plenty of room for those long triple-jointed legs!

      Anthro tolerates the poor service because they make a ton of $$ on it. "Free shipping" is a very very rare event in Anthro-land.

      Speaking of tolerance, I have exhausted my tolerance for Anthro.

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  10. What an ordeal. I'm glad to hear the skirt was worth it. Lasership is a real thing? Sounds so 80s trying to be 2000.

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    1. Hi, Gigi, sadly Lasership is real. I was told it's a franchise operation, or close to it, there are opportunities available all over the US. I hope this is inaccurate.

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  11. Congrats on a successful mission. How wonderful that the skirt fits and that it arrived to the right location in the right time frame. But, I confess, I did check the date of your update to make sure it wasn't an April fool's joke : )

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    1. thanks, KnitYarns, the skirt is in fact here. I think all the good karma from blog pals turned the tide.

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  12. I had an Anthro experience a few months ago: took them four tries to send the dress I ordered in the right color. Does make me wonder why I can get so worked up about an article of clothing!

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    1. I don't think it's the dress, or the skirt, or the lamp, or the washing machine (looking at you, Best Buy)... I think it's the fact that the process doesn't work. And won't work. Repeatedly.

      Delete

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