I may not be Inès de la Fressange but I can have her shirt

I realized in mid-July, when word spread that Inès' designs would be "affordable" -whatever that means these days - and at Uniqlo, that if I could get myself 6 inches taller I would not need to lose weight. Visions of a taller, stretched-out Me strode through cobblestone streets like editorial photos... Actually the last time I strode, well, hurried, on cobblestones was in London a few years ago and I was hurrying through Covent Garden on the way to the theatre and the stones were glistening beautifully in the light rain, and because the damn stones were wet and slippery I stumbled and landed heavily on one knee...

Inès is often photographed with fluffy hair and lightweight immaculate but well-worn-in Burberry pushed back by a gentle breeze, or more likely by a well-directed fan in the hand of a hopeful intern.

(pause here while I decide not to complain about how there are all these unworthy people in the heartless and cruel world whose hair behaves and then there is Me)

The lightweight trench might just be possible. At one time I thought that the buttoned-on epaulets of a real trenchcoat were dashing, then I learned that everything on a trenchcoat is there for a purpose and the epaulets are where you put your gloves when you remove them to take aim at some desperate Colonial, having first adjusted your gun flap...

So, anyway, light-weight with the potential to move gently - well, to flap - in breezes, and long enough to be recognized as a coat not a jacket, and did anyone ever wonder whether Inès really is that slender or is the motion of the coat and hair creating an optical illusion? And would that work for me?

Worth trying, although not at Burberry level.

I found this one:

note absence of epaulets
note presence of "wind guard"

skirt is fully cut but does not "balloon"
 hence good flapping potential

It was said to be back-ordered until mid-August. It was also on promo, and we pause for a moment to wonder what kind of merchant puts something on promotion when he doesn't even know if he'll be able to deliver it?

I ordered the thing, knowing full well that it was not going to be useful as a raincoat, or be warm, or maybe even be wearable. It did look like it would be good at flapping in breezes, and therefore potentially evocative of long and lean.

Ten minutes later, I became concerned about flapping potential and ordered it again, a size larger.

The rest of the summer passed without incident, except that the back-order date became more and more prolonged. I decided that if it (or they) arrived after the flapping season, I'd return both and reconsider diet and Pilates for the long and lean business. Fortunately both coats arrived this week.

Result: the larger size is definitely over-flappy. I liked the length. The sleeves were absurdly too long, no sensible way to fix them. The smaller size fits! The "military green" color is not quite the green of the US military, and not any green related to Paris or cobblestones... dyes were no doubt mixed by an inept foreign intelligence agency, which thought inspired me to check the buttons for tiny transmitters. They seem OK, plastic, not overly heavy for their size and thickness.

So both coats are hanging in the "probation area" of the closet. I need to try them on in a few different lights to be sure about the color and the way the back hangs.

Meanwhile, I also ordered a few of the Inès items from the Uniqlo site. I can't go to their Fifth Avenue store, because I become dazed and helpless what with the dramatic multi-levels, creatively deployed escalators, shiny surfaces....
Wool & something jacket, MEH, returned

White cotton lawn shirt, BEST WHITE SHIRT EVAH!
yes I am KEEPING this
IT HAS DARTS!

Flannel stand collar dress, this might
work as an updated housecoat
but not for me. Returned
Oh, yes, that white shirt really is made of cotton lawn. Thinking of buying a spare. Or not.

25 comments:

  1. Do you think you might have found BB's housecoat? And it's navy, she loves navy. We should go in on it together and send it to her.
    I cannot believe you found a perfect white shirt. I checked already and they don't ship to Canada or even accept my billing address so I can't get away with sending it to my family in Georgia. Otherwise I'd buy it right now.
    I do like green and I'll be curious to know if you keep that coat, it's very spy-like and cool. xo

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Dani, Himself's mother once gave me a housecoat so that I would have "something to wear while ironing." The memory still burns, and I would happily purge all housecoats from the face of the earth. Especially the ones with snaps. So I couldn't possibly inflict a housecoat on a friend. The navy thing is like a long-ish sweatshirt, I found it unbearably hot even just for a brief try-on.

      I'm still trying out the coats. The larger one looks better with a light sweater under it. Oh, these decisions.

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    2. Ah-ha! Now I know why you don't want BB to ever have a housecoat! Something to wear while ironing? What the. Yes perhaps they should all be purged from the face of the earth.

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    3. yes. And to make sure I understood how thoughtful the gift was, she explained that she knew I didn't have a housecoat because she had checked in my closet.

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  2. Will have to see if she sells it at her store in Paris! Though I'm sure there's a uniqo there. Darts! So rare, so needed. Good for You!

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Wendy, I kind of doubt that the IDLF store will be carrying this stuff, the Paris Uniqlo (if there is one) might. The "real" IDLF stuff could not be described as "affordable" by anyone but a love child of an oligarch and a Swiss heiress (bank not cheese).

      I emailed you at the address on the new blog, stumbled over some cute (affordable) antique (Victorian?) jewelry on Ebay that had your name on it. One piece even had your initials.

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  3. I couldn't stop laughing reading this. I looked at Ines' range a long time ago and though… If I were a giraffe I know I would look amazing in this. As I am more pygmie size, I suspect that it will all look awful. I find 'affordable' designer ranges very hit and miss. Mostly miss. The generally poor cutting/ fabrics are only disguised as such on the model proportioned percentage of the population. I have a Burberry trench and rarely wear it. The colour is really not good on me, and I always worry when I put it on that I look like a cold war era spy due to the sickly effect it has on my complexion.

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    1. Hi, Heidi, I think there's something to my theory that IDLF isn't really tall and slender, it's just the optical illusion created by clothes and hair in motion.

      I was disappointed in most of the items, but v.pleasantly surprised by the white shirt.

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  4. I did get 2 summer dresses last year but both are unworn with tags. My fault as I didn't try them on. One is so sheer that it seems like a beach cover and the cotton wrap dress is so low and cut for a cup ladies like Ines so in the charity pile. But on your recommend I might try a shirt except I'm a bit busty so they tend to gape.

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Naomi, I've given up on ever having personal musicians, or even a personal shopper who can be relied on. However I still have hopes of a personal dressmaker who knows where the bumps and blobs are.

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  5. I hope the new coat is perfectly flappable; the feature I like is the wind guard-- is this Ines too? I hope it makes out of probation. And white cotton lawn-- so 1910, in a good way. I should look at this sight as I am more on the giraffe end of things.

    Funny you should have a shopping post today as I went to an actual store for the first time in many months yesterday on a trip South 2 states away. Nordstrom's-- such a nice helpful store although they did not carry the Trish McAvoy BB cream I tried and loved the last time I went to a Saks 2+yr ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi, Lane, what I like about Nordstrom's is that they seem to have free shipping, no minimum on all "Beauty" purchases.

      The coat is in fact the "military trench" from J.Crew. So from this we may deduce that, like a Shakespearian hero, it will have a tragic flaw. I have to find the flaw and decide if I can live with it.

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  6. She is my style unicorn-impossible to attain. I love the new coat. I'll take a peak at the blouse, but due to smallish shoulders and biggish girls-button ups aren't my friend.

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    1. Hi, Julie, I insist, it's an optical illusion. Have your younger boy walk a little in front of you aiming a small battery-powered fan at you.

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  7. Really enjoyed this post, it was both useful and quite witty! Just found your blog after you mentioned it on JCA. Bookmarked! (PS, thanks for the tip on the white shirt and i'm intrigued about the green trench, tho being so close to the ground as I am, not sure I can pull off long and lean, like, ever!)

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    1. Hi, TM93, thanks and welcome! The coat's hem ends a bit below my knees, I'm 5'4 ½, if that helps.

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  8. Thanks for the reviews. I am really liking the look of that white cotton lawn shirt. It is hard to tell from the picture but is it a Peter Pan collar? I have been wanting something like that forever!

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    1. Hi, Shopping Celle, the collar is short and closely fitted, but it is pointed, so not a Peter Pan.

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  9. You are impossible. Impossibly funny and gifted.
    Thank you for your reviews and witty comments... Now I know, all I need is a helper with a well positioned fan and I'm set...
    On the shirt... would you say their size it tts?.. Never bought from them but willing to try (and hopefully order spot-on). Thanks!

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Nan, thank you! (blushes)
      I usually wear a size 10 in a JCrew shirt, sometimes a 12.
      I wear a M or an S in a tee shirt.
      While the design of the IDLF shirt doesn't look skimpy, I decided to start with an L, and I'm keeping the L. The shoulders are in the right place, the body's a touch roomy but not boxy, and the neck is fine. Hope this helps.

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    2. Thank you:)
      And thank you again for keeping the blog...seriously awesome!

      Delete
  10. I also ordered and finally received this coat. It was surprisingly lightweight, but alas too long. I thought the fit in the shoulders was perfect with a shirt, and even a light sweater, but felt it was too bulky from the waist down. it would look better on me if I were 4 inches taller!! I loved the color, maybe they will make it in a petite (fingers crossed). Love your blog, makes me smile every time I read it, thanks for that!

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    1. Hi, Annie, thank you! I'm fine with the length of the coat, I'm leaning towards keeping the larger size to have the option of wearing a shirt and sweater without creating sausage arms.

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  11. I you have come across the the holy grail of shirts, by all means buy 2! That is a rare find. My unfulfilled heart's desire is an e affordable well made dark green merino cardigan. I really like the trench, and concur- the sleeves can not be altered.
    But, I am becoming more and more hesitant about buying jackets that I can't comfortably fit over layers.
    Let us know what the holding cell outcome is!

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    Replies
    1. Hi, KnitiYarns, the larger of the two trench coats went back, and I'm wearing the white shirt. If it survives being washed, I'll head back to Uniqlo.

      Delete

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