carpe diem

My mom used to say life is backwards. To my shock, I find I agree. Think: When you have small children, what you need most is time, money, an extra pair of hands. Later on, when you start to have time and money, you have sweet creatures who want stuff and need to be taken or driven to lessons/sports/activities. These in turn grow into ungainly creatures who want the car.... And when you have teenagers, what you need most is patience, common sense and strength of character, and yet you are haunted by the very plausible thought that some demon may have switched your adorable open-hearted little ones for these grumpy strangers who stay in the shower till all the hot water is gone.

Life continues:
That boy whose room was so messy his mom actually called that TV show where a team comes to your house, sells the garbage (scary thought - to whom?), cleans, decorates, brings new furniture and makes the family swear you'll keep it up - yes, that boy! He's now a neat freak Army officer whose rare visits to his childhood home are distinguished by an irrepressible tendency to rearrange his mom's furniture. Our country is in safe and well-organized hands.


The girl who went to med school hoping to work with Doctors Without Borders? she fell in love. He broke her heart. It was 1953 all over again, says the Old Bat. Remember the Old Bat? sees all, knows all, understands all, tells no secrets... The girl is looking for a job, temping, trying to keep her student loans current. The Old Bat wants to live long enough to see her "settled."

"Settled" used to mean married. It doesn't mean that any more, the Old Bat tells me. She wants to see her girl in a stable relationship with someone who cares about her and puts her first. This story isn't over yet. We hope.

The social butterfly recently buried a child. Her husband won't discuss it. She knows the day will come when they talk. For now, she volunteers with the Suicide Prevention Hotline. She tutors. She finds kind things she can do for friends. For strangers. It's a little early to think about family. She needs to be out of the house during the day. She tries to sleep at night. She tries not to wonder. For now.

We all know them, we all know of them, maybe we are some of them: the stoner who cleaned up and is a pillar of the community, the rebellious girl with purple hair who settles insurance claims, the kid who moaned and whined about vegetables who blogs about his clean, green, healthy life. And sadly we've known the golden children whose lives take unforeseen, unwanted turns.

Oh, if only we could see through the whining toddler, the wailing five-year-old, the recalcitrant teen, to the philanthropist, to the statesman, the kindly parent, the saint! If only we could see the impending loss in time to grab them out of its way ...

Normal programming will resume when we have finished the rest of the leftover turkey. I couldn't buy a small enough bird to fit our shrunken group this year, so we are dealing with leftovers. In many ways.

15 comments:

  1. I hear you Fred. I have literally been haunted for the past two weeks by the ghosts of my much younger parents and younger self, reminded of days when they were as vibrant (or more) than I. Given that my milestone birthday is exactly 50 days away (how odd is that?) I have been thinking a lot about cousins cut down in their prime, friends long gone, friends in trouble. Am also planning for the next 30 or 40 years and what I need to do and see. Even contemplating a career switch. All makes for interesting times. Careful of that turkey: As Elvis Costello and the Chieftains have so eloquently written, in one of my favourite christmas songs ever "There is life in it yet you might live to regret"....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I look at pictures of parents and grandparents, fearless and confident and hopeful, and try not to remember the querulous old folk. My taste for vintage and classic comes from these pictures, although I still haven't worn a cocktail hat.

      Delete
  2. So true, WFF!

    Once you are done with the meat, there's the carcass to deal with too. :D Just kidding. Turkey soup made from carcass is not inspiring AT ALL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm fanous for refusing to make soup from.eftover cooked ones,scraps and cooked veg. No offense to those who live for the day when they can, naturally.

      Delete
  3. WFF, no kids here and this still got me. With you on the sorta-soup and good luck with remains of days...

    ReplyDelete
  4. it'll be tough, it's too cold for salads and someone drank the rest of the gravy...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Since becoming a parent I spend my life holding my breath and keeping my finger crossed. Our boys are happy and healthy - yet I worry constantly. I know the odds are in our favor, but it can be a wicked world out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, Julie, yes, there are so many times when you just hug a little tighter and hope.

      Delete
  6. I made the turkey stock last night so it's turkey soup this week-- I am one of the freaks making soup out of anything.

    My emerging adults I hope will be OK; they are still so idealistic despite the economy and did not want professional school like their parents. Their old lady is about to do some Drs Without Borders stuff, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, Lane, Himself noticed me eye-ing the turkey carcass, cleaver near to hand, and announced that carcasses are on the No list for Coumadin patients. I took that as a wish, for the kitchen staff if not for the state of medical science.

      I would truly love to know more about your DWB project.

      Delete
    2. Turkey soup? I've never heard of that buy yes, of course, why not?

      Delete
  7. This gave me chills, I've been feeling something 'odd' recently, much like WMM, I'll be 50 the year after next and for the first time ever a birthday is giving me pause and reflection and a little sadness.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi, Tabs, I'm thinking it might be time to draw a line between "carefree" and "eccentric." I always looked forward to being a grouchy old lady, it's a great excuse for not doing anything you don't want to do, but I don't want to be a worried and fretful old lady.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Beautifully said, something I have bee mulling over recently, only expressed in such a poignant way it makes me sad and blissful at the same time. You dont have to resume the normal programming, I love this channel :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you, ajc, I guess it's November nights drawing in on all of us.

    ReplyDelete

As Alice Roosevelt Longworth said, if you've got anything bad to say, sit next to me! No, really, please remember to be kind, and don't say anything fred's mother would not approve of (Diner's mom didn't approve of anything. Including fred.)
Wellfedfred and the Whining Diner reserve the right to edit or delete any comments submitted to this blog without notice if we find:
1. Comments deemed to be spam or questionable spam
2. Comments including profanity or objectionable language
3. Comments containing concepts that could be deemed offensive
4. Comments that attack a person individually
and since there's been a flood of spam lately, we're trying the Robot thing to see if we can block some spam...