dressed, dressed up, under-dressed, over-dressed

The young woman who was helping me was obviously uncomfortable, red in the face, shiny forehead, tottering steps, and I thought I could tell why - with a perfectly nice skirt and blouse, she wore a thick cardigan, belted at the waist, heavy tights, spike-y heels, heavy necklace. Not an outfit for dashing around a crowded store carrying armfuls of clothes, I thought. I enquired after her blouse. "It's not ours," she whispered, "and it's from last year. But," she continued, "you can find the sweater I'm wearing on the front counter by the door and the belt in the back by the shoes."
      "I don't know if I could carry off an outfit like yours," I said. "It looks like an awful lot of clothes for me."
       "Actually it is for me, too, but our manager makes us wear at least 3 pieces from the store. In case someone from downtown comes in. Shall I bring you some other sweaters to pair with your jeans?"
         I pleaded a late lunch hour and slithered out of the door before someone else noticed me and shouted "Fair game! Accessorize at will!"
Now, honestly, does anyone need help to find a sweater that works with jeans? Very few sweaters don't go with jeans these days. What you really want is a sweater that works with your shape and complexion and your tolerance for itch. A nice neckline helps, too.
Today I was having a puffy morning and the weather report predicted "chilly," so I threw on an old and not sleek pair of checked slacks and a black cashmere tee, then added a cardigan before I put my coat on and ran out. Did I think about this? Well. a little, because I had to find where I'd put the tee the last time I reorganized my sweaters. Fortunately the cardigan was on a dining room chair where I'd left it.

On my way to appointment number one, I thought about accessories. I wear scarves a lot, but they live in clear plastic boxes in the armoire, so I can grab the one that suits my mood without pondering. About the scarf, that is, pondering about my moods would be self-indulgent even for me. I wear a piece or two of gold jewelry most of the time, a chain bracelet, signet ring, and something at the neck. They live next to the soapdish so I can remember where I put them. I have an absent-minded habit of taking off jewelry when thinking. When you're working at a computer you find yourself removing statement pieces so they don't interfere with typing or leaning forward to peer at the monitor. A stack of bright cheap bangles may be ok on the arm, but lying on the desk they don't make a good impression.

Merry Christmas to Me!

On to the post office, I have all the software to print UPS and USPS labels, but our mailman isn't always eager to lug packages back to the post office, so it's me. On my way, I realized that without thinking about it I had dropped the Cashmere Comb into my purse. Now that is sad. That cardigan, while nice, pills like crazy. Fortunately it was far from its fictional "full price" when I bought it, but I like it and I'm hoping to get at least one more season out of it. It goes nicely with the pants, don't  you think? In fact it goes with a lot of stuff I already have. But for the pill factor, I'd pick up another when the markdowns tumble down after Christmas.

By the way, I'm still trying to figure out how you pair more than two things with one another. Anyone?

If I wanted to make those pants part of a slightly dressy outfit, I'd lose the cardigan and wear the Christmas present I just got myself on the Ralph Lauren Friends & Family Sale. Now that had some serious reductions.

merch falling off back of  truck

The time of super-dressy formal business events is long over, at least for us. In a way that's a relief, because it was really a nuisance to find a long dress that was very dressy, not too chest-y, and not fooffy. An expensive nuisance. One year, a friend and I were so resentful of this attack on our clothes budgets that we drove out to a notorious discount place in the wilds (well, then they were wilds) of Brooklyn, and bought ourselves long silk and rayon jersey dresses for $10.00 each. "Fit and accessories are everything," she chirped. And so they were, although in fairness I must point out that the older generation of the firm and their hyper-critical spouses were all getting kind of near-sighted by then. Only a cataclysmic wardrobe malfunction would have drawn attention. At their age, they came to eat. And drink. Well, we all came to drink.

But what to wear to a not-so-dressy occasion, one that is not fraught with the possibility of professional consequences? If I don't feel like black dress and pearls, I grab a "little" jacket, a skirt, a silk or satin blouse. Dressy shoes, dark-colored but lightweight hose. It's not rocket science.
Do I want to look like someone a stylist worked on? Depends on the stylist, I guess. Every year, at least two women will - separately - publish books about style in which they suggest that the reader invest in a white shirt. A WHITE SHIRT! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT! HOW DARING, HOW ORIGINAL.

I love the look of a white shirt, untucked, with dark skinny jeans. But what with the weather, the puffy days, a lost skirmish in the Battle of the Last Five Pounds, this outfit does not go everywhere. Lunch at a fine restaurant? Only if you're a teenage supermodel accompanied by a guy who is a VIP or a Whale in the restaurant's secret computer list. For me, black and white tweed suit, black OR white heavy silk blouse, maybe a black &white patterned one? Nice shoes, hose as above. Possibly a gold torque. Downtown? Jeans and leather jacket, bearing in mind that I would never wear skintight pants when I go out to eat. Please. I absolutely wear pants to the office, with a tailored shirt or a heavy silk tee and a jacket or blazer, and in fact this is probably as close as I get to a uniform.

And the opera? Well, when I was a kid I baby-sat for a family that never threw out their magazines, and I swear I saw a cartoon in one of them that I remember to this day. It's a view of the inside of an opera house, singers on stage, from the viewpoint of two couples seated in a box, older and younger. The younger woman's hair is up in rollers with pins and clips, and she says to the older couple, "Well, we're going somewhere afterwards." I understand that this has now achieved the status of an urban legend, but I think it started as a little cartoon in something like Good Housekeeping or the New York Review of Books. So, what to wear? It's no longer a formal event most nights, but the people on stage are working very hard to give you a lovely experience, and you should dress to show some respect. Keep in mind the following: (1) there will be a lot of sitting, and (2) no jeans, no fleece, no flannel, nothing that rustles or jingles.

Dressy depends on where you are, I guess. I went to a memorial service for an old boss. Not recently. It was held in Another State. I knew ahead of time that a number of politicians and important people holding state office would be attending. I chose a simple charcoal skirt suit, almost black but not quite, with a pale aqua silk collarless blouse. The jacket was also collarless, single-breasted. No jewelry except an old ring. WOULD YOU BELIEVE that everyone who spoke to me said something like "You got that outfit in New York, didn't you?" or "Gosh, you must have come all the way out here from New York," or - you get the picture. I know they sell clothes in that state, I've done charge-sends from there. Maybe they were impressed because I had washed my face and combed my hair that morning, although I do that every day....

In Upstate New York there's an area called the "Snow Belt." A friend visited from there, admired my rough shaggy sheepskin jacket that I wear out at Flintstone Manor when it's cold there. It's not a city jacket. I wear it to walk in the woods, to go buy groceries, to go to a movie on a cold night. So I offered to take this lady to the showroom where I'd gotten the jacket, they have great sales every year and her timing was right. She said it was too dressy for where she lived, and people would make fun of her. Now I don't know what to wear to I go upstate to visit her.

Whoever invented Casual Friday has a lot to answer for. Look around your workplace. Try not to laugh. Have a good weekend.